Looking for some advice? Well, it’s #WhatToDoWednesdays and Baller Alert is going to give it to you real like your wise old auntie would. Read below as one of our readers explains a situation she found herself in with her best friend’s older brother.
“So my best friend and I have been friends for about 6 years and I’ve always been close to her and her mom and grandma(whom she lives with) she also has a BROTHER who this story is about…anyways we fell almost two years & when we fell out she stopped talkin to me completely so that meant I rarely came over and spent time at her house or hung out with and seen her FINE ASS BROTHER…so of course if it’s a true friendship things will mend and that’s exactly what it did. I started to come back around and we hung out like nothing happend. One day we were out and her brother texted her and told her to give him MY NUMBER “because he had to ask me something” Now mind you while me and my friend were not on speaking terms her brothers girlfriend got pregnant and she decided to keep the baby… So when I came back around I just seen his girlfriend and really didn’t think of nothing because before we had fallen out they looked unhappy and I didn’t even think that they would last…but I guess they did. Well him being the MAN he is he did the right thing “I guess” and he married her…so when fast forward to when he told her to give him my number, he texted me the next day and things POPPED OFF from there. He told me how he thought I was so beautiful and how he always thought I was cute and I will be so much beautiful when I get older…AND IM JUST LIKE WHAT THE F*** WHY DIDNT YOU EVER TELL ME THIS…well his response was I was young when I started coming around(14 y/o…late birthday) and he was much older than me and his sister (21 when I was 14) and plus I was his sisters friend(he said it wouldn’t look right) so fast forward that day we talked all day I swear we probably texted about 500+ then all of a sudden he told me let’s take a shower!!! And all I could ask was if this was serious!? And he told me YES! He said next time I come over that we can take a shower together and I told him me and his sister were going to a party that night and I planned to spend the night…(now mind you his wife is at her moms house so she was no where around when all this was going on) So that night we took a shower together but nothing happened. Well a couple weeks later something did happen…. he was leaving for work and I asked him for a hug goodbye and it just started. I followed him to his room and I tried to lay him on the bed but he responded by saying,”no we can’t lay on the bed…this is where she lays” -_- so he laid me on the floor and he was kissing my thighs and fingering me with so much passion it was just like he was inside me… I begged him for us to have sex but he declined numerous times…I tried to walk out the room(due to frustration b/c he would not have sex with me) but he wouldn’t let me and he just grabbed my face and I started to please him orally. He literally came in 15 seconds.., after that he went to work and I went about my day…after that day we would talk here and there but nothing ever POPPED OFF AGAIN…well the family (my friend,her mom, grandma, brother, and his wife and son(they had a boy) moved so I rarely saw my friend due to the long commute and that meant I didn’t see her brother either. Well I finally moved myself and I was a bit closer to my friend so I started to come around more. One day when we were in her room he just walked past and it was like LUST AT FIRST SIGHT…I mean I haven’t seen him in a while so it was like old feelings coming back and I just wanted to go to him and talk to him…fast forward we began to slowly make little conversation now that I was back around and we began to talk via text and he would tell me we cannot talk because his wife thinks in the past we had something goin on(which we didn’t at that time) but it was hard for him to convince her that we never had anything going on and he told me that it’s not best that we communicate because of the way we gel we could talk for days and he did not want to get caught up by her… So I was cool with that…well now in most recent times things have began to POP OFF AGAIN LOL all of a sudden I don’t even remember but we just started to mess around here and there doing little flirtatious things even when his wife and son were around… Well of course things escalate and I began to please him the best way I could(being that so many people are around it’s kinda hard to GET IT IN) so I would try and give him head while everyone was sleeping or he would just come up to me and out his d*** in my mouth randomly…LOL well now things are getting pretty heated and we have finally started to heat things up a little more in the bed…NOW HE ACTUALLY LETS ME LAY ON HIS BED and doesn’t complain when I go to lay with him…well a couple weekends ago things got heated and we were in his room (at his moms house) and he was playing with me and he turned me over and it was what I thought was gonna be one of the happiest things in my life -_- well I thought wrong cause he didn’t even fuck me he just kept playing with me and doing everything besides what I wanted!! And that’s the D… So I just had to stop him before I got myself all worked up for nothibg and I laid him down and began to orally please him and let’s just say he came in 15 seconds again…;-) well this week I saw him again and we did the same thing but we actually talked afterwards and I explained to him how badly I wanted him and wanted to know how come he would not have sex with me. He does everything else but just not that… His response(well responses) were I cannot handle it -_- , I might get hooked…(probably :-P) and the last one WE DONT HAVE A CONDOM. 🙁 so fast forward to right now I’m just thinking #WHATSGOINGON I’m just so confused it’s like idk what to do in this matter… Do you think he wants to have sex with me, do you think he’s just playin with me or what…I’ve wanted him every since I was younger and now that I’ve come this far it’s like I’m not gonna stop till I see what it’s about. And also the thing is nobody knows about this except my friend( who is his sister) but I feel at times she gets mad because all I think about is him now I just want him so bad… Nobody else knows and it’s just so enticing I WANT HIM SO BAD!!!! It’s so hard hiding the fact that we don’t mess around when his family is around he ignores me completely and to be honest it kind of hurts my feeling but I know his reasoning. And I know we will never be together but it’s just that what if…I just want to get others opinion #whatshouldido” Thanks, Confused
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Dear Confused,
I’m going to try to speak candidly, but not judge. Before I get too deep into my response though, let me be honest and say I started side-eyeing him the minute he said he was 21 years old creepishly fantasizing about how beautiful you would be when you grew up. At least he didn’t act on it, no R. Kelly.
Now let’s get to the real problem at hand. In short, you are playing yourself. It’s not him playing you, it’s you playing you. You’re taking a risky chance sleeping with your best friend’s brother. It doesn’t show much regard for your relationship with your friend. Also, her brother is married with a child. It doesn’t matter what YOU believe the basis of their marriage is, the fact still remains that he put the ring on her and you went into this sexual relationship knowing that she & their child will always come before you. So much that he finger popped you on the floor and wouldn’t let you be naked in the bed he and his wife share. That’s not romantic! lol
I think from the start he was trying to tell you all that you will ever be to him, some good head. I think you subconsciously you knew this but thought that maybe if you had enough sex and text conversations that you could change him. Allow me to give you some tea on men, you can’t change them. He’s made his decision of where he wants to be and even if he is to leave his wife tomorrow, a “relationship” between you two won’t go further than just being about him receiving oral pleasure from you. He’s carved that into his brain already.
When dealing with men, it’s important to determine what you are going to be for him from the beginning. Do you want to be the girl he finger bangs and gets brain from or do you want to be the potential girlfriend/wife (should he ever leave the one he has)? You decide for yourself and once you have chosen that box, it’s hard to climb out of it.
I would say he did you a favor though. He’s clearly not trying to make waves with his wife or his family. It’s a huge mistake to have a relationship with you, being that you’re his little sister’s best friend. No good can come from this! At least he’s smart enough to NOT give you the D without a condom. Then you’d be the pregnant side-chick of a grown ass married man that still lives with his grandmother. He must be the finest thing on earth because I can’t see what’s got you so whipped!
Girl, run away as fast as you can. This whole predicament isn’t worth the head ache! Distance yourself from him and try inviting your friend over to your place for a change. Lastly, find you a good man who adores you and will give you all of him, not someone you have to settle for getting less than 30% of.
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