10 Reasons Why I Can’t Stand The “I Play Overseas” Baller

One day, I won’t say how long ago, I was approached by a guy at the club. I’m not sure whether his intentions were to ask me out, or to just get in my pants for the evening but that’s a story for another day. His opening line to me was “Are you here to see the football players?”. The players he were referring to were the ones hosting the party. Was I giving off groupie vibes? What would make someone think I was there to see some third string NFL players? Regardless, with a side-eye, I answered his question “hell no”.. And this is when he told me, he plays ball. “For who?”  I ask. Then he hits me with the infamous “I play overseas”. 

First of all – LIES YOU TELL! The “I Play Overseas” line is used by nearly every black male who stands over 6’2″ and unfortunately more women fall for it than not. Clearly I wasn’t one of those women, but I got to thinking, what do men get out of this lie? Simple answer: Vagina. So, I decided to pen my thoughts and let you know why “I play overseas” will never be a line I will fall for. Read them below.

Here Are 10 Reasons Why I Can’t Stand The “I Play Overseas” Baller

1) If I cant sit court-side at your games, you are useless to me.

2) I can’t brag to my friends that you play in Beijing. I can’t even spell Beijing. 

3) They don’t sell your jersey at Footlocker.

4) My temper is too bad to think of a snarky comeback for people who say “Who?” when I tell them who I’m dating.

5) You don’t really play overseas and you’re lying to get in my panties.

6) You probably can’t even play basketball at all.

7) You think I’m too stupid to use Google and I don’t like when people insult my intelligence.

8) Even if you did play, we would never see each other. 

9) You probably have a thot in Beijing, anyway.

10) Skype sex is only fun the first few times. 

BONUS: Everyone is going to think my boo couldn’t hack it in the NBA and quite frankly, I can’t have that kind of stress around me.

Unrelated. I just thought this pic was funny.