Ballerific Relationships: Your Momma Said What? By: milagreee

I’ve been on dates that were so painful that I would subconsciously watch the door for a quick escape route. I don’t think it’s appropriate to run out so I never would, but the door is always tempting.

I know I sound like a rude bitch and perhaps even a little cold but on the first few dates, there are some things you shouldn’t share.

The first few dates isn’t the time to divulge into personal stories of why “you hate your mother, why your father shouldn’t have left home and why you don’t think you’re a confident man.”

Baggage.

No one goes to a first date wanting to hear about all of the baggage the other person has. This is a time to put your best foot forward and find out whether or not you truly like the person in front of you. When presented with the issues that have gone on in said persons life, you are distracted by their problems and not able to really get to know that person.

I believe that baggage is something no one really wants in their significant other but you’re able to deal a little better once the relationship progresses. If you throw all your problems at someone in the first couple of dates- not only do you look needy but you also come off as someone who isn’t healthy.

Don’t get me wrong – we all have some sort of baggage but knowing when to share is key. Certainly not within the first couple of dates. A date is not a therapy session and this person is interested in you – they don’t necessarily really want to hear the bad when they haven’t learned about your good.

I’m a firm believer in actions as opposed to words. So when a man I am out with tells me how confident he is, how strong he is and how amazing of a man he’s become- my face immediately goes into bitch mode.
Why? Bc odds are you are telling me who you wish you were and not who you are. The man who is confident, strong and amazing tells me by how he carries himself, how he represents himself and how he treats me. If you have to verbally tell me, I don’t want to hear it.
I believe the first few dates are crucial and a window into what a relationship with this person would be like. Of course, during the first date, you definitely don’t know exactly who this man is but a couple of dates in you should be able to know if there is a future with this man. If on the first date, your “beau” let the door slam in your face on his way into the restaurant – odds are you better learn to open your own door if you continue with him.
If on the first date you notice he doesn’t pay attention to the things you’re saying .. That he’s more concerned with the waitresses boobs.. Odds are that that’ll never change.

If on the first date, he’s telling you how his mother is the closest thing to satan that he knows .. You have to wonder what his perspective on women is.

So let’s reserve the first few dates for getting to know someone and realize that over sharing and boasting aren’t first date or even second date friendly.