Ballerific Relationships – Baby, Mommy Needs a Timeout

I was involved in a discussion about parenting and mommies who need a break from their babies every now and then and it got extremely heated. During the debate, people were saying you’re a ‘bad parent’ if you need a break. Well, if you enjoy every single moment as a parent then good for you *pats you on the head* but trust me there are a LOT of parents who want/need/deserve a break. By break I mean whatever works for YOU and YOUR household. For some that can mean sneaking off for an extended shower while your tot naps, digging out that personal ice cream (that you hid in the back of the freezer) after the kids are asleep, sending them away to grandma’s for the weekend or even for weeks. Truth is, you are no good to your child(ren) if you are stressed and depressed. Children need healthy, functioning parents.

There is a scene in Sex and the City 2 that I appreciate because most movies don’t go there. After becoming frustrated during an activity with her daughters Charlotte hides in the pantry to cry… an ugly cry too. Fortunately for her, her nanny stepped in but that is not an option a lot of moms have. I liked that SATC showed her struggling with mommyhood because people seem to have an idea that every moment as a mom should be tender and warm. NO. Heck no. Even moms who have live in mates or someone with whom they coparent can find themselves feeling the sting of spreading herself too thin.

At times you are so frustrated it makes you want to drop them off at the nearest fire station. There will be times when children are so ungrateful that it brings you to tears.. There may even be moments where you want to run away and never return because it is THAT hard for you.. and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It happens. After spending an hour with my nieces even I run to my room and lock my door for a while… as they knock and stick their fingers underneath. I am not a mommy but I have been around enough of them to know it is not all peaches and cream. Sometimes it is shaving cream… or ketchup.. on your walls, on the curtains and in their hair.

I’ve also witnessed mommies with mates who sit and watch them juggle homework, dinner and baths rather than extending a hand and relieving her of some of her troubles and it burns me up. I don’t know what’s worse, having nobody there or having someone there who isn’t really there. Like, sir, can you slang clothes into the washer the way you try to slang your di.. never mind. Never.Mind. I can’t imagine being seriously involved with someone who is okay with seeing me constantly overwhelmed and under rested. Sometimes all it takes is four simple words to make a world of a difference, “Baby, I got it”.

Involved moms, do you split duties with daddy? For those who aren’t currently dating, is it important for you to get with someone who is as involved as you are? Does bloodline or relationship status matter? For example, do you let a boyfriend slide or slack on certain things that you would expect from your husband? Would it make a difference if the children are biologically his?