Why Don’t We Talk Anymore? The Infamous Fade

We’re all too familiar with this pattern. Either we dish it or we take it. So let’s break this down.

We’ve all experienced the beginning stages. You know, replying to each other’s messages with short response times even at obscure hours. Then over time, the text behavior becomes less aggressive and before you know it, you are the one starting every conversation.

Finally, you text them and get nothing, zip, zero, nada. This is the infamous fade. We hate it but once it starts there really isn’t a whole lot you can do. How do you see a fade coming ahead of time? The ugly truth is that a lot of guys (and females now) lose interest early on, especially when they are consistently presented with many other dating options.

If you had sex early on, sad to say a fade just may be in your near future. So what IS the fade? It’s a person’s best alternative to not looking like an ass by completely dropping off of the face of the planet.. especially after he’s gotten you into bed. So to avoid the embarrassment, how can a woman spot a fade early? One caveat is men are not by design faders or non-faders. Men fade on a case-by-case basis and the giving signs are usually within the first few interactions. If he is an attractive guy, why wouldn’t he be texting multiple women?

Blowing you up with texts leads you to believe that you are his sole romantic focus, an assumption that is often false. A guy who doesn’t create any sort of liability in your “situationship” could also be a fader. If he’s not organizing future plans or initiating activities that require any kind of planning, then he is creating a low level of liability. If he does fade you there won’t be added insult by leading you on and falsely raising your expectations about requests, activities, and trips that were to never be.

When a guy sets the bar high, the fall is greater and it hurts more, naturally. Women do get attached fairly easily in these cases and spending genuine time with you will only leave you more confused and upset when he does decide to fade. As frustrating as it is, a guy who creates low expectations is actually protecting you emotionally. You may often be left wondering “why hasn’t he texted yet?!” As long as he texts, you’re okay. The time shouldn’t really matter as long as he’s making an effort to meet. Legitimate, meaningful plans ladies, not 3am texts to “come over and watch a movie.” Which is behavior that creates liability. Take notes ladies! Don’t get faded.