Stop Telling Women to Smile

I’m an introvert. I often keep to myself. I’m polite, but I only speak to strangers in public when I feel like it.  I people watch to get a feel for the crowd before I begin sharing my words and thoughts. I have my moments where I do NOT like to be bothered, but I try not to be rude about it. I’m a nice, cool person! But unfortunately, I also have what people call “Chronic B*tch Face”; meaning my regular resting face is often a frown; equipped with straight lips, low eyes and a wrinkle-filled forehead. I guess I look unpleasant to say the least. So I get a lot of weird looks, mostly from men. They often look intimidated, or even afraid when I move in their direction. But really, I’m just minding my business and doing whatever it is that I need to do while I’m out in the world.

It really, really bothers me when men say “You’re too pretty to be frowning” or “Why the face?” or “Cheer up”. Like, 9 times out of 10 nothing is wrong with me. I’m not sad because my dog died. I didn’t get dumped by my boyfriend. It’s not my time of the month. I just don’t walk around with a smile on my face to please you, sir; stroking your ego. No. I’m often so deep in thought while walking around in public that smiling is literally the LAST thing on my mind. So I can’t think of your feelings towards my facial expressions and make your day much better by smiling at your lame attempt to make conversation about why I look the way I do…

Sorry, I just got a little hostile. I know some men mean no harm when they ask how my day is or why I’m frowning. But many of the times I am approached, the man is trying to prove something. He’s playing Superman, trying to save a good girl from this mean, cruel world. And I’m like “Nah, bro. I’m good.”. Then I’m labeled as rude or a b*tch and the saga continues. (sigh) I get frustrated. I find a problem in having to basically apologize to a man that’s offended by my face by forcing a smile so he can run along feeling good about his day. I shouldn’t have to do that. I don’t go around asking frowning men why they look unpleasant. I just mind my business. I guess that’s neither here nor there for men -_- But I digress

Men, if you’re approaching a “Chronic B*tch Face” woman, don’t predetermine our mood; even if you think we’re having a rough day. The way you cheer us up is not by pointing out that we look rude. When you do that, you’re basically saying, “Hey girl. You look like you’re in a terrible mood. But I’m just going to come over here to bother you anyway so I can force a smile out of you and feel good about myself. No, I don’t actually care why you look like that, but I can tell you need a man and TLC. I gotchu boo.” Uhhhh, no thanks. Either be genuine or LEAVE US ALONE. Thanks.