Ballerific Relationships: There Isn’t A Shortage Of Good Men, Only Standards – blogged by @niksofly

Nothing irritates me more than to hear someone tell me that there are not any good men left. I don’t know where that lie was started, but as soon as I find its creator, if she is still living, we are going to have a serious discussion. The problem has never been with the quantity of quality men. It has always been with women and the will to settle. The sooner women realize this, the better off we would be.

How many times have we heard women say “H*es are winning”? Have you ever thought about the real reason some women say this? It’s because they feel h*oes (from henceforth, we shall refer to them as Pros) are getting something in life they are more qualified to get, i.e.  perceived commitment, the brandishing of the relationship, material possessions and all the other things that social media can demonstrate, but be clear, social media can only demonstrate the social facet of the relationship. It doesn’t show you the blood, sweat and tears (that wouldn’t totally negate the popularity in social media).  As I was saying, women feel pros  get what they are entitled to, however, women negate the one aspect pros have that they don’t- the unwillingness to compromise.

Pros are steadfast to their desires. Yes, sometimes they are shallow and obviously selfish, but the point is whatever a pro wants, she sticks to those standards. Whether she requires the professional athlete, a bag by date two , her car note and lease paid, doors opened, daily affirmations, pros understand the ball is in their court.  Because of this inkling of knowledge , pros date the caliber –specific guy they want and hold them accountable hence getting what they want.

How many women do we know that settle? Someone tells them they are too old, too picky or that there aren’t any good men left, so if they find a dude that is employed and looks half-way decent, they should settle and start a family. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.  Raise your standards- you know, the little list that you subconsciously grade men against. Stop excusing piss poor behavior and have a little gumption.  If you want a dude that can pay a mortgage payment or two, stop dealing with dudes on housing.  How is he going to help with bills when the government has been helping him for as long as he has been a live? I am a conversationalist. You know what kind of guys I like- those that CAN and DO read.  I can’t really talk to a person who can only comprehend on a third-grade level. I don’t do Maybe dudes. Maybe he’ll call today, maybe he won’t. If I cannot have consistency, he cannot get my time. Whatever you want, you stick to it. If you want a chivalrous dude, you make that a priority and don’t waver. Don’t feel guilty either.  No one feels sorry for the consistent idiot.  I’ve had friends that wanted financially stable men, yet they have dated dudes broker than the10 commandments.  Almost a decade later and they have nothing to show for it, but a memory.  Not even a joint account with a couple of bands in it. No engagement, no commitment- just the memory that they were together for almost ten years.

You can’t complain that quality men are nonexistent, when you are out here subbing for subpar. You are what you attract. You want a dude to commit, but the only time you allow yourself to be in his presence is when you are naked and grabbing your ankles? Why would he commit to you, when you can’t commit to yourself to want more?  You want him to adore you, but you find it hilarious that he disrespected his last two girlfriends on the net. That was them and not you, right? Riiiiiiight. The point is you will continue to get sub quality men until you raise your standards. There has never been a shortage on good men, just a shortage on standards.

-Niko Rose