I Hate My Friend’s Man

Your friend asks your advice on everything from what lipstick to wear, what apartment to rent, and which form of birth control is the best.  But, sometimes when it comes to men, it can be a million times harder to give your honest opinion.

Before you can even speak on your friend’s man, you must make sure that the problem is actually within him, not within you.  You can’t come from a place of jealousy or insecurities, or your opinion is automatically null & void.

But, let’s say your friend is in a relationship with a super-douche, what do you do?

I know, I know, every time your friend tells you about one of the stunts he pulls, you want to muff her and say, “You should have had a V8!”, but that’s not going to solve anything.  At the end of the day, no one is going to change their situation unless they want to.  The best way to get your friend to realize he’s not the one, is to give her the facts WHEN SHE ASKS FOR ADVICE (You see that part in in CAPS? That’s a very important part).

For example, your friend’s man gets caught for the 4th time DM’ing girls hitting on them.  She calls you upset (again) and wants advice…you give her the truth.

“Last time he did this you were very upset, he has a pattern of this. Maybe its just who he is and I don’t like that at all!”

It’s a totally PC answer, but that is all you can do to maintain your friendship and be a good friend at the same time.  In reality, you don’t know the details about anyone’s interpersonal relationship unless you are there behind closed doors.  And, you will never understand someone’s love life because you don’t have the same feelings involved, so of course you would react differently.

It is important to find a balance between truth and comfort.  Me, personally, I don’t want my friends douchbag-y man to come to my dinner parties, but if she loves him, I guess I can give his ass a seat.

Now, if there’s an extreme situation like domestic abuse, multiple babies outside of the relationship, etc. then these rules do not apply. You must help your friend get out of their situation, regardless of her feelings.

On the receiving end, if your friends tell you they don’t like your boyfriend, that doesn’t mean you have to leave him.  But, if someone you chose to have in your life, someone you trust has your best interest at heart doesn’t like him, that holds weight. Don’t ignore it.

Do you hate your friends man? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts and stories!