Ask The Fetishologist is a reader advice column on dating and relationships. Readers send in their questions and MizCaramelVixen answers a few each week. Here are this week’s picks.
Asked on Instagram: My girl seems less interested in intimacy lately. What should I check first?
Start with the basics. It is summer, so heat and hygiene matter more than ever, and a little extra care shows effort. Next, ask yourself whether the attention goes both ways. Partners tend to match the energy they get. Put in the time to make her feel appreciated, plan something thoughtful, and keep things playful. Most important, talk about it. If you have done all of that and the two of you still want different things, it is better to have an honest conversation than to keep guessing.
Question from J: I want to take the lead on our upcoming hotel date. Any tips?
Confidence is the best outfit you can wear, so pick something that makes you feel great. Black and red are classic choices. Plan the evening ahead of time, set a playful tone, and tell your partner you are in charge of the night. Before you start, agree on what you are both comfortable with, and check in along the way. Keep it fun, keep it respectful, and enjoy being the one steering. Let us know how it goes.
Question from M: Two and a half years in with my fiancé, our schedules and moods rarely line up. How do we spice things up?
That is more common than you think. Start by talking openly about what each of you wants and when you are most relaxed. Put dates on the calendar so intimacy is not left to chance. Playful role play can also add some fun, whether that is a themed night in or dressing up for a dinner date. The goal is to laugh, connect, and make time for each other.
Thank you to everyone who wrote in. Questions can be sent to [email protected], and three will be answered each week, so please be patient if yours has not run yet. You can follow MizCaramelVixen on Twitter at @MizCaramelVixen and on Instagram at miz_caramel_vixen.
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