Dating Tips 101

There is never any guarantees when it comes to relationships and love. But there certainly are some steps you can take to make the odds work out a little more in your favor. I write this based on personal experience as well as experiences of my friends. If you are looking for more than just a hook up and want someone who will respect you, there are certain things that you shouldn’t do. Of course there are exceptions to every rule and what works for some might not work for others. But in my experience, if you want to ensure that he is dealing with you out of genuine interest and wanting to get to know you better, you should not:
GO TO HIS HOUSE/HAVE SEX WITHIN THE FIRST FEW DATES: I’m not going to give a specific amount of time to wait before going to his house or inviting him to your place. But if it is the beginning of the relationship, going to his house gives him the idea that you are looking to hook up. Can you go to his house and not do anything? Of course, but does that usually happen? NO. Being alone with a guy you are attracted to, especially at night and mixed with alcohol, is most likely going to end in sex. He may very well still want to see you after that, but what happens if sex was all he wanted? Then you are going to feel used and angry. Not engaging in sex early on helps to eliminate most guys that are only looking to hook up because they are not going to continue spending time if what they really want is sex. You may be mad when he slowly fades out of the picture, but at least you still have your dignity.
COME OUT OF POCKET: The same idea lies here as the first rule. A man who isn’t looking for anything serious is not going to continue taking you out and paying for you. Especially if you are not having sex with him either. I understand some women don’t mind paying or going Dutch, but when you allow him to pay, you get a pretty good idea of how much he values spending time with you. I have been told by many men that if a guy is really into you, he will want to pay. Reason is he wants to impress you and show you that he really likes you. I have no problem paying the tab once a relationship has been established, but in the beginning dating period, allowing him to pay will show you how he really feels. I have also been told by men that if you begin the habit of splitting the cost in the beginning, it will give him the idea that this will be the norm for everything. What you do in the beginning sets the tone for the remainder of the relationship.
DISCLOSE TOO MUCH INFORMATION: Its not a good idea to give too much information in the beginning about all the men that have hurt you or used you. Telling a guy that doesn’t really know you that well that all of your exes cheated on you or used you will raise red flags. He might wonder why you have always been cheated on or why it was so easy to take advantage of you. Allow him to get to know the real you first and then you can disclose deep feelings and how you have been hurt. By that time, he will know how amazing you are and see that these guys didn’t value what they had. I have a tendency to be an open book and I have been told in the past that I reveal too much too soon. Don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable too early on.

When these steps are ALL followed, and they are fairly simple steps, you have a much better chance at finding someone who is looking for what you are looking for. History repeats itself, and if the same misfortunes keep happening to you with men, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the approach being take .