Stop Letting The Last Man Dictate How You Treat The Next One

Here is my ode to R&B Diva Keke Wyatt. A woman who has clearly been through it all in regards to her love life. She’s a mother of 7(?) and from the outside you would think had it all together. Unfortunately, she doesn’t. After her very humiliating split with the last man in her life, causing her to spend the night in jail for trying to stab him. She claimed that he was abusive and also that he was a cheater. Now she has a husband who is a preacher and seemingly a nice guy. She won’t let him out of her sight though. The girl comes with baggage and she brought it on this trip. 

You see, Keke is what Erykah Badu considered a bag lady. She can’t see the happiness she has because she has packed up all her baggage from one relationship to another. Girl, you’re gonna miss your bus carrying all that stuff! Keke is not the only woman like this however, so many women have done the same in their past & current relationships. It’s time that we stop letting the actions of the last man ruin our future happiness. 

Just because the last man you were with doesn’t mean all men cheat. Don’t use this as a sign that your man had too much free time and needs to be by your side all the time. Free time is hardly the reason he cheated. Accept the fact that the last man just wasn’t the type of man you needed to be with. The problem with us is that we over analyze every situation when the bigger picture is in plain sight. How many times has a man calmly told us “I haven’t been faithful to any of my girlfriends until you”? Now, when we here this we take it as “Oh my gosh, I tamed this wild man. I was special enough to keep him from straying”. What he really meant was “I’m letting you know right now, the chances of me being faithful are slim. Just know I haven’t cheated on you YET”. If we would have just accepted what he said for what he said, we would have saw the bigger picture and would be prepared should the worst happened. Instead, we lived in the perfect fantasy that we tamed a wild stallion only to find out he wasn’t tamed at all. Then it becomes a bashing session for everything with a penis from here on out.

If the last man is a dog, he’s a dog. Accept what you can not change. Torturing your current man for the last man’s mistakes is hardly the answer. Keeping him at arms distance, monitoring who he’s with and who he talks to, starting unnecessary arguments and accusing him of things he did not do will not make him feel more loved. It’s bound to just push him away and leave you broken and lonely once again. If anything, what you should do is take what you’ve learned from the last man to better equip yourself for the next man. If a man always gripes that you don’t show enough emotion, and in turn he finds it elsewhere, use the next man as an opportunity to be a little more affectionate. See the bigger picture. Men really aren’t that complicated.

If you want to keep a significant other stop punishing them for the mistakes of your past. If you want to see how fast you can run a man off, keep doing what you’re doing.