Ladies We Have Groupies Too: How To Spot A Thirsty B-tch

This blog is an absolute necessity. With celebrities becoming so easily accessible, and websites like facebook and twitter exposing everyone that you talk to or are friends with, it’s hard to determine which females are friends with you because they like you, or friends with you to get close to celebrities that you may be close with. We call the latter a Thirsty Bitch and here’s how you can identify her.

You’re the pretty friend, yet she’s ALWAYS around: You bring all of the attention and she knows it. She reaps the benefits of ballers being drawn to you. Every Baller has a Baller homie or two, right? She never hangs with you unless it’s to be seen in public and when the fine, rich men are around you would think you two were BFF’s. 

At the bar, she thinks she DESERVES a drink, and HE should buy it: It’s not because she’s parched, but because she’s thirsty! Oddly enough, thirsty girls tend to feel entitled. If they’ve ever received attention from at least one baller, they hold every guy to a higher standard. Meanwhile, she’s no female baller herself and the eviction notice on her apartment can attest to that.

She clique hops: If you notice a female hanging with a new clique of ladies every month you better believe she’s thirsty! Never trust a chick who has new “besties” for every season, theres a reason for that. She is likely to be the bad seed that causes the demise of friendships everywhere she goes, and is highly likely to be the girl who wants to get in the club with the hottest socialites in hopes that your status rubs off on her.

She’s a certified name dropper: Keep your eye out for the chick that will quickly drop your name when it benefits her. Whether it be to get in a club for free or to get the attention of a Baller, she’s going to use your name until it holds no weight. If you ever hear “Hi my name is Mary, Robin’s friend…” beware, she’s going to bleed your name dry! Female promoters see this this more often than others. Be very careful, she just wants access to the hottest A-list parties. She’s hardly a friend.

Don’t talk to your celeb friends on Twitter, she’s lurking: If you converse with celebs on Twitter, you better believe your thirsty bitch groupie is watching. She’s just waiting for an opportunity to chime into the conversation. If you notice she does this more than once, she is the true definition of a thirsty bitch. She’s waiting for the chance to make conversation. She may not know this celeb, but she’ll follow them and spark random conversation and if she gets the follow back…..MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 

She secretly wants your life: If you notice this thirsty bitch is starting to dress like you, talk like you and frequent spots that you’re known to hang out at, she’s your groupie and she wants your life. It may seem harmless at first, that’s until she finds herself cock blocking and sleeping with every man you ever had intentions on trying to get to know. Now you’re just the girl who hangs out with the low grade prostitute. 

She always starts drama: Her neediness to fit in makes her do crazy things. She’ll find herself always starting drama so that she can either have YOU all to herself, or your friends all to herself. This is why you keep the thirsty bitches at arms length. They can hardly be trusted.