Ballerific Relationships – Why He Won’t Commit

It was always thought that the “L” word was the scariest word for a man to use. For some reason, saying “I love you” was seen as something weak, the abolishment of manhood, or the submission to the opposite sex. Men have gotten over that hump. They love their sports, friends, food, women and sex (not in any particular order). The “L” word is not so scary anymore but the “C” word is. Men cringe, tremble and sweat at the idea of commitment. “If you love me, then you’ll commit to me”, she says as if the two go together like peanut butter and jelly. Women think about what they will gain when a man commits to them. Men think about what they will lose when they commit.

No More Fun
Stumbling home Sunday morning with lipstick on his collar, Coconut Ciroc on his breath and a missing show after a wild Saturday night will make for a great water cooler story at work on Monday. The only consequence will probably be a headache that night and a missing shoe. Other than that, he cannot wait to do it again next weekend. One of the first things to go in a committed relationship is having casual fun. It is behavior that men have to grow out of before committing himself to a relationship. Until he is ready to give up hot drunken nights with random women, a commitment is not something he will be thinking about.

No More Pimpin’ All Over The World
People love having choices. Men love having their choice in women. Being in a committed relationship eliminates all other options. Dinner with Tiffany on Tuesday and bowling with Jennifer on Friday is now out the question. A look in another woman’s direction will earn him a dirty look in his direction. In a man’s mind, commitment is synonymous with lockdown. It is also synonymous with eternal. His understanding of commitment being something that should last forever causes him to refrain from making that decision until he feels that he is ready.  With maturity, he will realize that one woman is all he will ever need to be happy.

Who Am I
A man never wants to lose his identity. It is who he is. His identity is shaped by his experiences, ideals, practices, standards, likes and dislikes, etc. His identity is molded by his own set of rules. Being in a committed relationship forces him to conform to a new set of rules; hers. He starts to see that some of his ideals mean nothing and that his practices may be unacceptable in this relationship. Furthermore, as he spends more time with his partner, their identities begin to merge. He finds himself not only thinking about his woman but also thinking like his woman. In his mind, he will feel that he is not the man he used to be. Successful relationships require a balance of give and take. Until he is ready to give up some of the things that make up his identity, a committed relationship will not be for him.

Written by: @TheilluminADY