The Misconception of Daddyless Daughters

So you’re on a date with this really great guy, he’s exactly what you like and he’s everything you think you want at the time. He’s into you and wants to know more about you, so he gives you the fifth degree. He wants to see where your head is and if you possess both beauty and brains. Although he’s going to do a thorough background check on you proceeding the date, he’d rather pick your brain. This guy is smart, he wants to see what kind of woman he’s getting himself involved with and if she really has potential.

As you gaze into his eyes, you become an open book. The conversation becomes so intense that you both forget how much time has passed by. He’s over the small talk and ready to get straight to the point: What are your long term goals? What are your views on religion? Is sex important to you? Where do you stand financially? And you even participate in the infamous men vs. women debate. It’s evident that you’re feeling him. It’s entertaining, it’s intriguing and you still haven’t broken a sweat. You are answering his questions just as quickly as he throws them at you. He goes on further to ask if you want children. Thus this opens the door for him to ask you questions about your childhood and your upbringing, how you were raised and who raised you. What he wants to know is if you were raised in a two parent home. Let’s be a little bit more honest, he wants to know what role your father played in your life. Let the analyzing begin.

This is a topic that touches the lives of millions of single women and it’s the misconceptions that men have about Daddyless Daughters that makes it even more difficult to discuss. Now if you grew up as a Daddyless Daughter, like myself, then you always seem to feel most vulnerable at this point because it is in fact your truth. It’s not that you are ashamed of what he’ll think of you but you’re aware of all the myths that they believe due to being Fatherless: She’s easy, she lacks self-esteem, she doesn’t respect men, she’s looking for a father figure, she’s needy, she doesn’t have a clue of how to be a wife, she will let a man get away with murder because she hasn’t been taught by a man, not her father.

See, as bad as it sounds, society has made us believe that there are perks to growing up in a two parent home. If she grew up with both mother and father in the home then she is more likely to be more wholesome than the young girl who had absent father. Has society forgotten that we too were raised by strong women who have equipped us with everything we need to know to run a household with or without a man? We have been taught to believe that because a home has been broken that the product of that home will be just as broken. This term that we have adopted by Oprah has stuck even after the series that had everyone’s eyes glued to the television and making discussions all over social media. The term stuck because it is [our] truth in its most raw and organic form. Men don’t realize that Daddyless Daughters are already aware of your reaction because she has been through it several times throughout her life, just ask her! A man who has this talk for the first time with a woman will do 1 out of 3 things:

(1) He will be understanding and love her past her pain, teach her how to trust and shows her how a man should love a woman.

(2) Count her out because he has no time to deal with a basket case who has daddy issues.

(3) Play it safe because you are too fragile.

After you tell him your story and he see’s you in your vulnerable state that man can see just how much it has affected you and he can see just how deeply rooted the problem has been. Nevertheless, this issue will always find a way to resurface into every man you seek and every relationship you encounter. After he has processed it all and finally lets this sink in, you will then see what type of man you have before you. There are tons of reasons why a woman is Daddyless and sometimes the reasoning is irrelevant. This doesn’t take away from the fact that you are still a woman. Not all women allow being Fatherless to affect them or hinder them in every relationship. Its so important for men to stop judging a woman based on her upbringing but it is important that we build something with a man who believes in breaking that cycle.