Breakup parties are having another pop culture moment, and Jennifer Lopez just gave the idea a superstar co-sign after opening up about heartbreak, divorce, and starting over. The entertainer appeared on Kareem Rahma’s “Subway Takes” on June 30 and said, “Breakups are not a failure,” while describing heartbreak as a “launchpad into your next best self.”
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Lopez did not stop there. The New York native added, “We should have a party when we break up,” and added that people should respond with, “You broke up? Congratulations.” For Lopez, the point was not that heartbreak feels good in the moment. The point was that ending a relationship can still be a brave, necessary, and ultimately healthy decision.
The comments landed with extra weight because the superstar has lived through her relationship chapters in public. Lopez and Ben Affleck married in 2022 after rekindling their romance in 2021. Lopez filed for divorce in August 2024, and the paperwork was finalized in January 2025. Now, with the “Selena” star speaking openly about being single, growth, and emotional reset, her breakup parties take feels less like a throwaway line and more like a conversation starter.
Experts are not saying everyone should book a venue the minute a relationship ends. What they are saying is more nuanced. When done with intention, breakup parties and divorce parties can serve as a ritual, a support system, and a public way to mark a major transition that society often expects people to process quietly.
That ritual piece is essential. A study by professors Michael I. Norton and Francesca Gino, published through PubMed, found that mourning rituals after different types of loss, including romantic loss, helped reduce grief. That does not mean a breakup party magically heals a broken heart, but it does support the idea that people often need a marker that says one chapter has ended and another one has permission to begin.
That is where breakup parties can become emotionally useful. According to Psychology Today, divorce does not have the same widely recognized rite of passage that weddings, funerals, graduations, and births often have. The outlet notes that some people choose public ceremonies, parties, trips, or private rituals as a way to honor the marriage while accepting that it has ended.
Psychologist Dr. Amanda Ferguson has made a similar point. In her piece on whether divorce parties are therapeutic or tacky, Dr. Ferguson frames a divorce party as a possible ritual that can help close a significant chapter and “bookend the wedding ritual.” That framing matters because it moves the conversation away from revenge and toward release.
Still, experts make a clear distinction between celebration and avoidance. HelpGuide notes that grief is a natural reaction to the loss of a romantic relationship and can include the loss of companionship, support, shared dreams, and future plans. In other words, the healthiest breakup parties do not skip the grief. They create space around it.
That is why a party may help one person and hurt another. If someone is using the event to gather trusted friends, name what they survived, laugh again, and step into a new routine, experts tend to see the value. If the party becomes a way to drink through the pain, humiliate an ex, or perform happiness before processing the loss, that is a different story.
Mental Health America also points to the importance of connection during a split. In its guidance on coping with separation and divorce, the organization warns that isolation can raise stress levels and affect concentration, work, relationships, and overall health. That lines up with the best version of breakup parties. The point is not the cake, the playlist, or the outfit. The point is being surrounded by people who remind you that your identity did not end with the relationship.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly told Oprah Daily that the most meaningful divorce parties are positive in nature and focused on the future rather than the past. The outlet also advises that these gatherings should not center on mocking a former partner, especially when children are involved.
That is one of the biggest expert cautions. Breakup parties may be empowering for adults, but divorce often affects more than two people. Healthdirect notes that children can feel hurt, worried, confused, angry, or fearful when parents separate, and it encourages parents to reassure children that the breakup was not their fault. Similarly, the American Psychological Association advises parents to keep conflict away from kids because ongoing parental conflict increases their risk of psychological and social problems.
If kids are part of the picture, the energy around the split matters. A future focused dinner with close friends is one thing. A public bash built around dragging the other parent is another. Experts are essentially saying that a breakup party should not become a stage for pain that still needs private care.
Experts also warn that parties should not replace deeper healing. HelpGuide advises people to acknowledge painful emotions instead of suppressing them and recommends outside help, including counseling or support groups, when needed. That means breakup parties can be a tool, but they are not therapy.
There is also a timing question. For some, a party right after the split may feel freeing. For others, it may feel forced. The outlet advises people not to rush into major decisions during the first few months after separation or divorce when emotions are still intense. That same caution can apply to public celebrations too. Sometimes the healthier move is a quiet dinner, a journal entry, a trip with friends, or a small ritual at home before turning the moment into an event.
The larger culture around divorce is shifting too. Vox has reported on the rise of divorce registries and divorce celebrations, noting that some people are pushing back against the stigma that says divorce should only be handled with shame. For people rebuilding a home, finances, family routine, or identity after a split, community support can be practical as well as emotional.
Lopez’s breakup parties comment works because it challenges the shame people often attach to relationships ending. It says a breakup can be painful and still be purposeful. It says divorce can be a loss and still be a release. It says starting over does not have to look like defeat.
The expert consensus seems to meet Lopez somewhere in the middle. Breakup parties can be healthy when they are intentional, supportive, future focused, and honest about the grief underneath the glitter. They become risky when they turn into avoidance, revenge, public mess, or emotional pressure to be okay before someone actually is.
So maybe the real takeaway is not that every breakup needs bottle service and a custom cake. Maybe it is that people deserve a ritual for surviving the end of something that mattered. Lopez may have said it with a smile, but the experts back the deeper point. When a relationship ends, the goal is not to act like it never hurt. The goal is to heal, reclaim yourself, and walk into what comes next without carrying shame as a plus one.
