A Better You in Just 4 Easy Steps – blogged by: @proudlylauren

With the new year in tow, I have been finding ways to become the best me I can be, through reading, self-reflecting, and speaking with other people. In the midst of this journey, a really good friend of mine, suggested I read a book titled ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz. I was a bit skeptical at first, because it’s a self-improvement novel, which I normally avoid, and it was short, which I figured couldn’t be too helpful. However, despite my hesitations, I went ahead and read, and was absolutely wrong with my preconceived notions. Of all the “self-help” novels I’ve read, this is hands down, the best. So when I finished, I couldn’t help but share with you all what I learned.

Agreement #1: Be Impeccable With Your Word.

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love…”

Everyday, we underestimate the power of our words, and how they effect people. Think about the person at the grocery store you were inadvertently rude to because you were having a bad day; what if they were having a worse day, and your rudeness was the final straw for them. Or what about that argument you had with your best friend when you said things you didn’t mean, just to get your point across. Both of these are examples of how we misuse our words, and spread negativity unintentionally. Stop misusing your words, and only speak positivity and honesty.

Agreement #2: Don’t Make Assumptions.

“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life…”

Think about how many situations we ruin with assumptions. Instead of simply asking our boyfriend why he’s late, we waste a ton of energy and start an argument off the assumption that he was with another woman, or doing something he shouldn’t of been. We do this with friends, work partners, and strangers: assume we know everything. Instead, ask questions to anything you are unclear about, and THEN decide how to act.

Agreement #3 Don’t Take Anything Personally.

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering…”

I am extremely guilty of this one. Anytime anyone is rude to me, mean, or unpleasant, I think its because of me, or something I’ve done. But in actuality, when someone lashes out, its because of something they are going through, which is completely independent of you. So don’t feel sad when your boss snaps, or your best friend doesn’t want to talk; it’s because they are having a bad day. 

Agreement #4 Always Do Your Best.

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret…”

This seems self explanatory, but all too often, we don’t give our best. We instead choose what deserves our best, and what deserves half of us. The problem occurs when we don’t do our best, and look back wishing that we did. That’s when we begin to feel regret and self-doubt. But, if you give your best to everything you do, the first time, you wont ever have the chance to look back and wish you could have done more.

Again, I was definitely hesitant at first; but after reading the first agreement,  was hooked. If you are looking for ways to improve your self, and live a happier, stress free life, this is definitely a book to help get you going in the right direction. It’s a short book, and easy to read, so it fits perfectly into your already busy schedule. It can be found on iTunes, in pdf, and in physical copy for a pretty affordable price. Check it out, and let me know what you think!