An Open Letter To Amber “Little Girl Lost” Rose

Dear Amber,

Allow me to start this letter off by saying ‘Nice Vagina’! I feel like I’ve seen it so much that we are BFF’s. Shall I take your vagina out for coffee so that we may catch up on old times? What am I thinking? Catch Up? I’ve seen your vagina more than I’ve seen my own, tell your tits I said hello though. Nah, but in all seriousness, what’s really going on in your head? Another day another Amber Rose naked pic. In other news, the sky is blue.

I’m not sure what your motives are but you are certainly craving major attention that you’re not getting. Let’s go back to when we were introduced to you. We saw you on the arm of Kanye West, Hollywood’s angry black man. We had no idea who you were or what you were about but we knew 2 things: You dressed well and you were silent. Those two things made us love you. You were beautiful. I mean, you still are, but you were so different then. Your fashion, your demeanor, you were mysterious, we had no choice but to want to know more about who you were. As we all know, things with Yeezy didn’t work out. It’s cool, most relationships don’t. We don’t fault you for that. Later you hook up with Wiz Khalifa, every hipsters favorite stoner. Such a change from Kanye. And with that, we can honestly say you’ve changed as well. The silence and the mystery went out the window, you put on a little love weight and you’ve been whoring for propaganda *copyright Fresh* ever since. You boast about being crazy in love yet you are still looking for something. What is it? First the Fat Boys break up, now everyday I wake, another pic has leaked of your birth canal.

If you’re so in love Amber, why do you do it? I know you don’t seriously believe that nude photos of you have leaked on 4 different occasions and it was ALL at the hands of a hacker. Girl, what’s your password, “WizNAmber4Ever“? The public isn’t as dumb as you think Amber Rose. We’ve been put on to your attention whore ways a long time ago. But why? When you have all the love in the world from Wiz (according to you) what do you need the public for? If I had someone who made good money and loved me flaws & all, I wouldn’t have a single problem disappearing into obscurity. But for some reason you fear that. It’s not like you had much of a brand before Wiz, why do him like that? Doesn’t he give you enough love and attention? Are you going to cry out that you had Daddy Issues? What’s the real motive for your reckless behavior, because I refuse to think it’s all accidents. They’re calculated plans gone wrong. I say gone wrong because after the 2nd time, we truly stopped caring. At this point, the Rose really smells like boo-boo.

With Love Of Course,

Eleven8 xoxoxoxo