In our society, women have become more and more independent. They have become more capable of providing, not only for themselves but for those around them and the people they care for. Settling down has become more for love than for social pressures. Being around a successful number of women, I realized that some of these women have issues finding love. Are some men truly intimidated by the successful woman? Are we doomed to live in a society in which men who feel as though they must be the provider and caregiver cannot be with a woman who is in any way more successful than them? Can a man only feel secure in a relationship in which he is the more intelligent and affluent party?
Some women often ask why they see a man with another woman who is clearly lacking smarts. They ask themselves how he could choose the less intelligent woman and the less accomplished woman as opposed to her. Could the traits that led these women to become the successful and driven person they are are the same traits that turn a man away? Could it be that men inherently seek a woman who is soft and nurturing, but a woman who is successful and has climbed the corporate ladder by being strong and opinionated lacks these “womanly” traits or doesn’t readily put them to use?
When these traits trickle into their domestic relationships, that is when the emasculating of a man comes into play. A man isn’t seeking a buddy when looking for a woman to date. He doesn’t want to compete with you and debate issues the same way he would with his closest friends. It might not be your success that turns the men away, but the traits that led to that success that he finds to be less than attractive. Accomplishments do turn a man’s head once the connection is already there. A man will have more in common with a woman is just as well rounded as he is. But, unless this woman is a warm natured and provides him with the emotional security he is looking for, the accomplishments mean nothing. Everything comes down to attraction. If a man isn’t attracted to you, you could be pushing for partner at your law firm and still not be able to keep a man’s interest.
As women, we look for men who are successful, driven, and accomplished. We forget that men don’t really look for the same qualities in a woman.
When asked by Match.com, some men were adamant that they do not want a more successful woman. To them, the woman that made more money and had a better job was inadvertently emasculating them. As a growing man is brought up, it is instilled that he should be provider and the breadwinner of his household. To some men, it adds pressure to a relationship and makes them feel less than a man. Some men feel as though their identity is wrapped up in how much money they earn. In some online websites such as Match. Com, one of their profile questions asks how much people make annually. How could we possibly expect a man not to feel a correlation between how much money he makes and how successful he is at being a man when as a society, we ask questions like this?
The question isn’t do strong women intimidate men but do the qualities that come with being a strong woman turn a man off. Men still want to feel like men at the end of the day. This doesn’t mean turning off who you are, but it does mean that the qualities that make a woman, are what men are looking for.