#AskAMan – “My Instagram Crush Confuses Me. Is He Even Interested?” – Answered by @Gentlemenhood

Ever want to get a man’s point of view on an issue you’re facing? Maybe your girl friends haven’t been giving the best advice lately? Baller Alert has relaunched our #AskAMan series where you’ll receive advice from a male perspective. Our advisor today is @Gentlemenhood & he will be helping a young lady who’s having trouble figuring out why her crush is so stand-offish.

Need to ask for a man’s perspective? Email: [email protected] with “#AskAMan” in the subject.

Dear Baller Alert,

So I had a Instagram crush and my friend use to be neighbors with him so she reached out to him for me. Basically saying I have a friend that’s interested in you you should hit her up- showed him a pic and insta name. His reply was have her Dm me. So I did, that was 3 weeks ago we at first were do the one question at a time thing and I found it annoying and childish and gave him my number stating I prefer a real conversation not 50 questions. 2 days later he texts stating my bad I’ve been busy and stressed out from work and building a house.

Now here’s the problem we have been messaging since then but the conversation is dry and I feel like I’m pulling teeth. I’ve told him to call me -he never has and when I told him I was bout to give him a call he told me he had work in the morning and was bout to go to sleep ( it was around 11 and we were texting right before). One particular time we were texting and joking (I’m thinking maybe he’s getting comfortable and loosing up) he texts I’m bored and about to come over ( it’s storming and lives a hour away) I tell him no we haven’t even had a phone conversation and you haven’t even asked me on a date- why would I let you in my place. Then I did let him know I am interested in him but I’m not a hoe and I’m not into the chilling at my age. The only thing two strangers can do at 1 am is have sex. I also told him I was surprised he had thotty ways. He comes back texting I took it far left and that he was just joking. (I’m rolling my eyes, if I woulda have said sure he woulda came out)

So after that the drying texting started to occur again but none the less he is texting me. Some background on him he is known for being shy and has a slight lisp so I’m thinking that’s why he doesn’t want to talk on the phone, and doesn’t have a girlfriend. I’m so confused by him—is he interested? Should I stop communicating with him? Is it to early to be critiquing his behavior? Simply I don’t know if he is interested in me or not. 

—Interested and confused

Awww, we’ve all been there. Ok, now on to the response from our resident Gentleman.

Dear Interested and Confused,

I will get straight to the point. He is simply not interested. He was never interested. If you look at the pattern you are doing the chasing and forcing conversation. He isn’t interested. He had some interest when he thought he could smash but that didn’t go well therefore he went back to being him because there’s else between you two. Leave him alone, you were a desperate meal to him now you’re just a desperate chick. You seem to have some manners and have respect for yourself. Find a man who will do the things this guy didn’t do and expect you expected him to.

-@Gentlemenhood