Ballerific Relationships: Are You The Sidepiece – blogged by: @proudlylauren

This post is inspired in part by an episode of Black Ink Crew Chicago. Aside from the fact that the entire cast is more attractive than NY’s, I think it’s just as good as any other gossip driven, relationship ruining, reality television show. So just like every other Monday, I was tuned in as Don and Charmaine argued about whether or not she knew about his relationship with the mother of his child. Charmaine, swears she didn’t know, while Don says she knew and didn’t care. Regardless of who is lying it made me think about all the side pieces who have no idea that they are actually side pieces; who rightfully believe they are the only one because he’s made her believe that, and because love (and good peen) blinds even the best of us. So to avoid getting your feelings hurt, or even worse, getting your wig snatched by someone’s angry Baby Momma, read these major flags below and see if you are in fact the side piece.

– He has you on a consistent schedule

You all only speak M-F 9am-5pm, or when his girl is at work. Anything outside of those hours, are blackout hours, and you aren’t able to reach him. If you noticed that he has you on a schedule, and doesn’t veer off it, he is trying to keep his girls organized, and apart.

– He doesn’t take you out in public

You’re not ugly, you have some bomb ass outfits, and you know how to conduct yourself in public, so why won’t he take you out on an actual date? Because actual dates are for girlfriends, and being seen with you, may get back to his actual girlfriend. Instead, he’d rather play it safe, keep you on the side, and have a nice night in, with take-out, and Netflix.

– You haven’t met anyone in his circle

Meeting the fellas is a big step for men; they introduce you to the guys once they know you’ll be around for a while, and want to see how you will mesh with their friends. So, sidepieces, who won’t be around for long, won’t have the privilege of meeting the guys.  

– He Denies Denies Denies

You see how Don swears he didn’t have sex with Charmaine, even to his best friends, when we all know the truth? If your name ever comes up, with the homies, bae, or anyone else, he will deny deny deny until he, and everyone else believes it. It doesn’t matter if he was knee deep in that thang yesterday, he will try his hardest to keep it a secret.

– No Holidays

This is a dead give away.  If you never see him on holidays, it’s because sidepieces don’t get holiday privileges. He may send you a “Merry Xmas text”, but he’s not stopping by to give you a kiss under the mistletoe and drink egg nog with your family: that’s for his bae.

– Lies About What’s Going on with His Ex or BM

You always ask if there is anything going on between him and his ex, and he swears they are just friends, nothing more. But, you notice the girl still posts him as her MCM, calls to confront you consistently, and tries to fight you whenever she sees you.  She’s not embarrassing herself, to call as a friend, and she’s definitely not risking her fresh gel set, to fight you as his “friend”. No, she’s protecting her man. Just like he’s lied to her about who you are, he’s lied to you about who she is.

I know he has good peen, says the sweetest things sometimes, and maybe even tells you you’re the only one. But, if you can’t get ahold of him on nights and weekends, you’ve never been out in public with him, and you have no idea who his friends are, there’s a good chance you’re the side piece. At the end of the day you know what feels right and what doesn’t, so if you feel like something is up, it probably is.

If you’re ok with being the side-piece, theres nothing left to do after you find out; however if you feel like you are a “main-dish” type of girl, leave that fool in the past and find a man who appreciates you enough not to keep you a secret.