Ballerific Relationships: Baller Affairs – blogged by: @proudlylauren

Disclaimer: Before you read further,  replace the word “Baller” with “boyfriend” if you find yourself easily offended.

If you’ve ever been victimized by the cheating Baller, you know the agonizing pain that comes with such deceit. You find yourself asking why, seeking closure, and replaying the pain over and over again. You may not get the closure you need, or the answers to all of your questions, but understanding the different types of affairs may offer some clarity to your particular situation. Realizing the different types of affair could not only offer clarity, but also help determine if your Baller’s affair is forgivable. Whether it’s with his video games, or the woman up the street, keep reading to find out the 4 different types of affairs. 

Sexual Affair:

This is exactly what it says, the cheater is having sex with someone outside of their committed relationship. Love may still be present in the relationship, but the sex is boring, they never see each other, or the cheater is a nymphomaniac, whatever the case; they resort to someone else to take care of their physical needs. The cheater barely kisses the secret person in the mouth out of fear of cross contamination, and definitely doesn’t cuddle or pillow talk. It really doesn’t get deeper than finding the nearest Motel 6 with the least amount of roaches, having a rushed half-dressed quickie, and planning a discreet departure. 

Emotional Affair:

Maybe the sex is still good at home, but the cheater doesn’t feel appreciated, or seen anymore. Feeling validated, needed, and understood in your relationship is crucial. If it’s missing those things it becomes easier to emotionally confide in someone else in times of need. In this type of affair, they’re seeking that validation, and emotional; and do weird things like hide in weird places to talk, sit their phones face down 24/7, and start unnecessary arguments just to get away.  

Object Affair:

Remember your favorite toy that you were obsessed with, the one you would ignore all your friends to play with? This is similar. Object affair happens when the cheater neglects their partner for something else- 2K Instagram, Porn etc. Not to be mistaken for the understandably warranted quiet time during the Super Bowl, but the kind of neglect that makes you begin to question your own existence. 

Sexual and Emotional:

In my opinion, this would be the worst affair to forgive; the cheater is lacking both emotional and physical security from the relationship, and therefore supplements with someone else. This can come in the form of one person, who encompasses everything the cheater is looking for, or maybe its multiple people who each have a piece of what they are looking for. In this type of affair you may notice the cheater is spending a little more money than Motel 6, but instead opts for the Holiday Inn Express, and may even splurge on buying her a meal. This type of affair can be dangerous if the cheater gets too comfortable with the sex and emotional fulfillment; they may very well confuse lust and begin to pursue an actual relationship with their secret lover(s).

I personally have experience with what started as an emotional affair and ended in both a sexual and emotional affair. I felt like I was justified in going after what was missing; going so far as to blame my partner for what I was missing instead of trying to fix it together. I also used the absence of sex as an excuse for my emotional affair, when in reality it was just as wrong, and deceitful. Once I got comfortable enough with the emotional part, it wasn’t hard at all to fight the sex part, it actually made it easier. Ultimately neither relationship worked out, and I learned, any kind of affair is too much work to maintain. It’s a lot easier to either work on things together, or walk away from the situation. What about you all? Are there other types of affairs to watch out for? What are your experiences?