An attractive young man, we’ll call him Tyrone, asks me out for a drink in the city one evening; with which I accept, and agree to meet. The day-of comes, and I’m mid eyebrow fleek, when I realized him and I hadn’t discussed travel arrangements. I wasn’t sure if I was expecting a ride, or driving myself. I stopped the flick of the wrist for just a moment, and called to ask him what the plan was; when I was informed that he planned on walking to the date, therefore he obviously couldn’t be my ride. Penalty #1. Now assuming Tyrone lived walking distance to the date spot, and just wanted to save gas, I brushed that off, still excited for the evening.
After arriving, one by foot, one by car, Tyrone and I each got a drink, and got lost in conversation; convo wasn’t mind boggling deep, but not unbearably shallow either. The end of the night was nearing, when Tyrone inconspicuously directed the conversation to his Netflix preferences. I knew where this was going, but waited. Soon enough he asks me if I could “come watch Netflix and chill” with him afterwards. Now because I’m well versed in the recent phenomenon of such set-up, I politely declined. Penalty #2.
He takes the rejection pretty well and we chat a little while longer. At the end of the night, Tyrone slips away for a quick bathroom break; during which the waitress approaches the table with separate checks. I ask her, “Oh no, could you please put that on one check?”, only for her to laugh and respond “Your date just specifically asked to put the drinks on separate checks.” Hell no. Penalty #3. Before he could get back to the table, I dismissed myself, leaving the table and the bill. In order to avoid a similar disaster, where your date doesn’t have to plan a covert escape mission, read the Do’s and Don’ts of a first-date (I wish I could @ Tyrone).
Don’t pull the Netflix okey-doke- too soon to be cuddling in close quarters watching sex scenes in dim lighting, too soon.
Don’t get Dirty Sprite wasted – There’s nothing attractive about having to baby sit an overly intoxicated first date, and if you throw up, RIP to yal’s future.
Don’t talk about the Ex– If all your worried about is your ex, maybe you’re not ready to date anyway.
Don’t go Dutch (split the check)– Modern etiquette says whoever initiates the date, is who pays, but if there are any uncertainties, just discuss it before hand. Tyrone initiated with me, so no excuses.
Don’t be too serious, or too funny- just be you, once you start trying too hard it becomes obvious and annoying, and you risk intimidating your date with your recycled Kevin Hart jokes.
Do research– Not like CIA background search, but check out their Facebook/IG see what their interests are, favorite music etc. That way if conversation gets dead, you have something to converse about. But don’t get carried away mentioning his old FB relationship statuses, or how he used to dress, the goal is to come off normal.
Do give full attention– There is nothing that tells your date you are absolutely and fully disinterested in their presence, like burying yourself in your cell phone. Eliminate the distractions and hone in on your date, that way you can be focused on what they say, good and bad.
Do bring dental reinforcements– What happens if things are going so great on the date that you want to make out, but you remember you just ate a sea food platter with a side of spinach. Have gum, spray, mouthwash, or toothbrush on hand so you can clean that up.
Do use your manners– Ladies, that means crossing your legs and not giving him a peep show, chewing with your mouth closed etc. Fellas, open doors for her, and don’t use every curse word you’ve ever learned.
Do ask for the second date– If things have been going well, and the vibe seems mutual, take advantage of the moment and ask for a second date. That way time’s not wasted and no one is confused about who’s turn it is to extend the invitation for the second date.
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