Ballerific Relationships: Discretion; I Do Not Hide Anything, You Just Over Share– blogged by @niksofly

I understand I may ruffle a few feathers because of the society we live in. Technology and insecurities have created a dependency for public validation. If it isn’t on social media or on constant display, it isn’t real, right? Isn’t that how the logic goes? In order for a relationship exist, it has be posted on all social platforms. I have to change my status on Facebook, make him my #Instagram #MCM every week, post couple pictures, mushy quotes and the likes. I have to update my status to include relationship goals and half thought- out sentiments so that individuals who don’t know me from a can of paint on the wall can see that someone wants me. Yeah, that sounds like something I am not interested in.

I’ve been private my entire life. When I enter a relationship or terminate one, a select few individuals are privy to the information. I’ve always practiced discretion. No matter who I dated (or kicked it with). Whether it was the engineer, college grad or pro athlete, the only way you knew we were an item is if you saw us in public together. I never denied being involved. I have always been quick to articulate my relationship status. I’m very proud of whomever I may be with. You just will not know who that person is. If WHO I am involved with is a bigger concern than me being involved, then that “concern” reeks of impropriety. If my best interest is what you have (or pretend to have) at heart, then why are trivial details more important than the overall picture? Why must I prove to you what is real for me?

I’ve never hid a relationship. I simply didn’t put in on front street. And the crazy thing about that, it was always my decision. I never had the desire to show people that were not apart of my day-to-day that I was worthy of a relationship. The assumption is that posting that pic curves his potential to cheat. It doesn’t. Those couple posts indicate commitment. They don’t. People are still in very public one-sided relationships. If I am content, I am happy, the relationship is healthy and we are both growing as individuals, then why should I alter what works for me to fit society’s (specifically you and your) entitlement?

When has social media done anything for you or your relationship? Did it mend your broken heart? Could you call any of those commenters and confide in them without the fear of your business being someone’s pillow talk? It does nothing , but keep a detailed tab of how instable many of us are in relationships. Besides everything is not for everyone. Some things are sacred and should be kept between the parties involved. Sometimes it is better to enjoy a moment between you and that special someone than to share it. The world doesn’t need to know your every thought and move. I’m not hiding anything. You just over share. Practice a little discretion.

-Niko Rose