Ballerific Relationships – Failure to Launch

You meet a guy at a friend’s gathering and the two of you hit it off quite nicely. Throughout the night you are mentally checking things off your list (the one you swear you don’t have because you’re so open to possibilities. Mmhmm, that list)and he appears to be the ideal prospect. You are playing telepathy with your best friend as she stares at you from across the room and you nod when you know she gets the message. You like him.. so far. He’s been the perfect gentleman, delivering non stop laughter, asking thought provoking questions and the chemistry is undeniable. As the party spills outside so that everyone can go their separate ways, he walks you to your car and you watch him walk to… his friend’s car as he climbs in the passenger seat. Are you immediately turned off or do you assume his buddy is dropping him off to his car? Would it be so bad if he didn’t have one at all?

You sigh in relief when he arrives in his own car a few days later. Your first date turns into your third date and you find yourself spending an awful lot of time exploring your city and what it has to offer while enjoying one another’s company. One particular evening neither of you feel like navigating the streets and would rather spend the day inside together. So, there you are in your place enjoying your hook em meal (you do have a hook em meal, right? That’s your signature dish that you serve prospects when you cook for them for the first time that blows them away.) and a movie when his phone rings. After a brief conversation he turns to you and says “I’m sorry babe, I have to run home for a second. My mom lost her keys and assumed I would be home to let her in.” Did he just say…. Yea, girl, he did. He said it. Now what??

Tell me! What would you do? Do you consider a guy (or gal if that’s your thing) living at home a deal breaker? Does it matter why they live at home or is it a big fat, automatic NAH?

I wouldn’t consider it a deal breaker.. at least not right away. There are several reasons an adult would live with their parents. They could be in transition, helping out aging parents, saving coins or having trouble finding gainful employment even after obtaining a degree.. or.. orrrr they could really just be a loser. I am not the type of person who takes everything as I see it. There are certain situations worth probing and if I hit it off with someone I doubt that I would go ‘word? you live at home? Nice knowing ya. Kthnxbye’. Now, living at home because you think it’s the thing to do and you have no desire to grow into your own? I would not find that appealing. Living at home due to unforeseen events or because you screwed up somewhere along the line (hey, it happens. Life is skressfuh) and you’re actively working yourself out of your situation? Totally different. Of course I’d want someone who has it together.. whatever that may mean.. but I have a PhD from the school of life and sometimes you just have to get knocked on your bootay.

If you hit the ground and choose to stay there I’d be out. However, if you dust yourself off and you are currently in the stages of rebuilding, we can proceed and I may even slide you a brick. Wait, not THOSE kind of bricks. Wrong girl, boo. Now, I am not saying clean up an Ashy Larry all willy nilly to become his mentor girlfriend because he MAY have potential. Goodness no. I mean, if that’s your thing then by all means get your Ashy on.. If not then you have to discern the Ashy Larry’s from the Going Somewhere Harry’s. I am not promoting settling but I do think that in some cases it’s okay to respect a person’s process and rejoice with them when they make it. There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want how you want it, but like our homie Rob Hill Sr. says “don’t be so focused on the package that you miss the gift.” or something like that. Sorry, Rob, I tried. Was I close? Ooooh I almost had. I gotta be quicker than that.