Ballerific Relationships – Foul-Weathered Friends

Magic Johnson once said “When you face a crisis, you know who your true friends are”. While that may be true so is the opposite. Let me paint it for you. You’re feeling down and depressed and you text someone something as simple as a sad face and the response is them ringing your phone and showing up at your door to find out the cause of the sad face. You comb over all the details and probably hug it out before they go about their day. Fast forward to a few months later when your entire world seems to be turned around. That relationship that was going sour has been repaired, being laid off from your job ended up being a blessing in disguise and now you’ve landed your dream job and hit your goal weight. For everything that was going wrong, two things are going great. You want to scream, shout and celebrate your victories with the person who was there for you when you were down. You call and get no answer so you resort to a text message. “OMG!!!!! I got the job!!!!!! I couldn’t be happier!” you say. Immediately, they respond “Cool’ or “That’s what’s up” and the next time you hear from them is when you reach out to them. Are you with me? In your heart of hearts you feel a way but ignore it by convincing yourself “well, at least she was there when it counted most so they must be a good friend, right?”

Funny how some people waste no time rushing to your aide to witness you at the height of your misery but it’s no big deal when you bounce back from it. Sure, we need people to be there during our darkness but it is equally important to have someone to bask in your light. We are often warned about the fair-weather friends who only want to be present when things are going well but nobody mentions the foul-weathered friends who are there for your storms but disappear for your sunshine and rainbows. I think these actions can stem from a number of things including insecurities that they may or may not be aware of. Not everyone has the ability to celebrate the lives of others when their own is in shambles or they aren’t quite where they desire to be in life. Codependency can also play a role. For a codependent person, they function better in relationships where they are able to serve and ‘fix’ things for the people they Love leaving them no place in your life when all is well.. or so they think. If you truly Love your foul-weathered friend and wish to keep them in your life, it could be worth bringing to the surface and having a heart to heart. If you’re fed up and feel that this person is simply a ‘hater’ as the kids say, get rid of them as you see fit. I am a friend through all seasons and I expect the same from those I allow in my world. I desire friendships so intimate that they are just as enthused about my accomplishments as I am and as they are about their own. Now THAT’S what’s up.

Do you have a foul-weathered friend in your life? Are YOU a foul-weathered friend?