Life is too short to sacrifice your time, energy, optimism, and emotional stability dealing with the wrong types of men. With that said, four types of men in particular need to be avoided if you hope to get the most out of your love life. Time is too precious for the bullsh*t.
- The lingerer– is usually an ex who won’t give you enough space to move on. They could also be someone who doesn’t want anything serious or has told you they don’t want a relationship. Even so, they won’t get out of your damn life. The lines have been clearly drawn. They won’t commit. You’re attempting to move on, but they insist on contacting you and trying to see you. They hover in place to keep you available to them. What they’re offering is an empty dead-end situation-ship. A road that goes nowhere and does nothing for you. They cite your history together, some feels, or even love as the reason they can’t stay away. The most dangerous part about the lingerer is that because of the history, you still feel like you’re involved. That distracts you from finding healthy love elsewhere or making progress with other men. Cut them off completely. Remove them. Anything lost can be found again except for time wasted. And they waste time.
- Puppetmaster– pulls your strings emotionally. But never figures out what he wants. Ties you up so that you feel too close to want anyone else. They are like the lingerer but you’ve never crossed the point of realizing a relationship with them. They make you feel like love, commitment and devotion are just around the corner. The problem is they are conflicted. They can’t decide what they want. Or they need time. They say they want to take it slow. They’ve been hurt before, but now they’re hurting you. They like to take their time with titles but they rarely take their time with sex. Or tying you up in unofficial bonds that feel like full-blown relationships. They use your need and longing for the next step against you. Squeezing you of everything you have to give a relationship without ever giving you one. It’s not titles they hate. It’s the responsibility and expectation of loyalty. Cut them off completely. Remove them.
- The long-term flirt– They often seem harmless but that’s why they can be so harmful. Might be an old coworker or acquaintance that you never really dated but bantered with or flirted with. It never really turned into anything but every once in a while they poke at you. Slick comments and flirty stares. Sexual innuendos. They’ve never really even attempted to start something with you but now they are putting the pressure on. Telling you they’re attracted. Flirting more intensely. Texting late. Trying to build tension. Even so, they still aren’t trying to get to know you. The majority of your correspondence is flirty. No depth, no substance, no effort, and no real time invested. They’re single, you’re single and they aren’t moving forward. They’re hoping to have sex one day. They want nothing more. If you want to be just another notch on their bedpost keep flirting. If you want more they don’t have it to give. Cut them off completely. Remove them.
- The whac-a-mole– Aways popping up out of nowhere and disappearing again. Nomadic lovers. Rolling stones. You’ve never really gotten too deep with them emotionally but you wouldn’t mind it. Or you have fallen in love with them, but have already accepted that they are only going to be here in your life for a short while. Intense days or weeks followed by nothingness and silence. He pops back up after months and sometimes years acting as if no time has passed at all. Like everything is alright. He hurts your feelings or breaks your heart over and over again. Stop standing in place where a man left you. When he comes back next time, be nowhere to be found. Cut them off completely. Remove them.
All four of these types of men leave you to be loved by others because they don’t care. You must remember that men are territorial. They don’t prefer to share the women they want with others. They definitely don’t want the woman they love to love another man. And be made love to by another man. Or to need another man. Men who want you don’t leave room for others. If you have guys like this taking up space and shaving time from your life remove them. They do far too much damage to your mental health and your self-esteem.