Ballerific Relationships: Momma’s Boys By: @milagreee

After watching a couple episodes of “Love and Hip Hop ATL,” the subject of “momma’s boys” came to mind due to the eerie attachment Momma Dee has to Scrappy. I started to think about the fact that some men have this usually close bond with their mother that sometimes pushes their significant other to the back burner. In order to for me to take a man even remotely seriously, I have to know what the relationship with his mother is actually like because more often than not the better he treats his mother, the better he will treat me. But that said, there is a thin line between a healthy, loving relationship and an overbearing meddling mother.

The difference between dating a man who values his mother as opposed to a momma’s boy is that a momma’s boy is used to his mother doing absolutely everything for him. Including but not limited to laundry, cooking, cleaning, brushing his teeth, cutting his hair, cutting his steak, decorating his apartment, you name it and mommy is sure to oblige. When dating a momma’s boy, be aware that you are ultimately taking the role of his caregiver as opposed to his significant other. You not only have to be able to be his girlfriend, but you also have to take on the role that his mother gladly filled. This is a lot to ask for from a significant other, and can ultimately result in your becoming resentful of both him and his overbearing, intrusive mother.

Another huge issue is that you are now battling this woman for the position of the main woman in your man’s life. This woman will be scrutinizing your every move, she will be keeping a watchful eye on absolutely everything that you do, hoping that along the way you mess up so that she can let her son know that he should ultimately leave you. Nothing you do will ever be good enough for her precious boy and he will always be right. It doesn’t matter how many times he cheats on you, treats you like crap, he will always be in the right in her eyes. Momma will ultimately think that you led him to do these evil things. Her son wouldn’t cheat unless provoked! Right? 

Momma’s boys are definitely sweet and caring individuals who know how to treat women, because they love their mothers. But they are usually under developed when it comes to their emotional growth. You can try and break this hold that his mother has on him but the truth of the matter is that it won’t be particularly easy. Momma has raised him all his life and she probably won’t give him up without a fight so prepare for WWIII. If you run into a momma’s boy that is worth the struggle, make sure you let him know up front that you are not a substitute for his mother and that your role in his life will be his girlfriend and nothing else.