One of the most controversial topics to date is whether or not you have a Plan B in your relationship. Many are thinking, “What do you mean by a Plan B?” And no, I am not referring to the pill.
A Plan B in a monogamous relationship is just that, A Plan B. This person is your backup if something was to go wrong in your relationship. Often, people unconsciously keep certain people around “just in case.”
If you are unsure whether or not you have a Plan B, we have curated the 3 Cs to help you identify these people: Classification, Communication, and Collateral Damage.
How Are These People Classified As Plan B?
Plan B’s are classified as platonic relationships. This person is oftentimes referred to as “just a friend,” an ex that you have a close friendship with, someone that you met during your “break,” a co-worker, a friend of the family, or someone that you are “networking” with. These people are kept in close proximity for long periods of time. Some times longer than your actual relationship.
Just A Friend- When anyone asks about this person, they are simply classified as “just a friend” that has the potential to be more but only you know that.
An Ex- This ex has always made it their business to stay close no matter what. They still keep in contact with your family and/or attend functions with mutual friends. This ex still hangs around because they know that there are still mutual feelings, i.e., occasional flirting.
Break Plan B- You met this Plan B during a break from your relationship. This person could be just a friend but close enough to become more. You have shared information with this person that you only share with a potential candidate. You are both equally attracted to each other. Everything feels just right with this person.
Co-Worker- The co-worker is someone that you are supposed to have a professional relationship with; however, professionalism tends to merge into a more personal level. This person you often refer to as your “work wife” or “work husband.” The work spouse is someone that routinely brings you lunch, someone that has your back, and someone that you can rely on, especially in the workplace.
The Networker- You met this person on the fly with the intent to talk business initially via brunches, networking events, zoom, etc. While networking, you find common interests outside of the business that leads to attraction. The Networker is also your biggest cheerleader. Their ideas are just as big as yours. Although this isn’t idealistic, it makes the mind wander.
A Friend of the Family- The friend of the family is unique. They are associated with time, which means they have invested a lot not only with you but your family. In many cases, you have grown up with this person, and they typically know everything about you and whom you have had intimate relations with. This person wants more but respects the boundaries until they are offered the opportunity for more than a friendship. The friend of the family has the advantage over any of the previous candidates, with the exception of the ex.
How Do You Communicate With Plan B?
A Plan B is also classified by when and how you communicate with them. It is all about the timing.
Let’s say that you and your significant other got into a heated argument. Coincidentally, you receive a text or call from that special person that happens to take your mind off of the situation. This now opens the door for the Plan B. Sharing information about what took place in the argument with your significant other gives them insight into what is going on and where your mind is.
No one should ever have this much access to what is going on in your relationship unless you want their take on the situation. This gives them much-needed ammunition to take things to the next level, whether to call and check on you, see how you are feeling, or simply just thinking about you text messages.
How the Plan B Can Be “Collateral Damage” To Your Relationship?
Many relationships fail because they do not realize that they have had a Plan B in rotation all along. Oftentimes these people are in denial about who they communicate with or their association. They look at these relationships as platonic when in actuality, it could very well be more than what they put out there.
People seem to keep these Plan B’s around as a form of insurance. No one goes into a relationship thinking that they are going to fail. But if or when they do, the Plan B is that safety net to cushion the fall. Now, keep in mind a Plan B doesn’t always know that they are a Plan B.
The more you communicate with the Plan B, the deeper the wounds are in your current relationship, even if the issues are minor. The texts eventually evolve to lengthy phone conversations that you know you should not be having, but you become too complacent and eventually reckless. This will inevitably lead to mass destruction.
Everyone isn’t going to admit to having a Plan B but don’t you have a Plan B for everything in your life? The object is not to fail knowing that there is a huge possibility. But, you have to admit to yourself that there is a problem. The first step to any addiction is admitting that you have a problem.
How many people can honestly admit to having a Plan B or have had one in the past and did not realize it until now?