Ballerific Relationships – Searching for Security or Digging For Gold?

Words by Marvin Ady

            In today’s dating scene, it seems that a man’s finances often becomes the focal point. In his mind, any woman who is interested in what he does for a living or how much he makes is a gold digger. It is easy to label a woman who will not date someone who is not at a certain financial level a gold digger. However, some women are only looking for some security. Is there a difference? Yes there is. To differentiate the two, a man must know what a gold digger is, what a woman is looking for when she is looking for security, his role in a relationship, and how a woman may still choose someone who is not quite there yet financially.

            A gold digger is someone whose sole purpose of dating is for financial and material gain. Her love of money precedes all things – including love. She is status obsessed. She feels entitled to a luxurious lifestyle without having to work for it.. When it comes to relationships, money is not part of the equation; it is the equation. If you want her love, you are going to have to pay for it.

            What about the woman who is looking for some security? How is she different from the gold digger? What is security? Security is freedom from financial cares. It also means freedom from danger. Security is protection. A woman who seeks security wants to know she is entering a situation where she can be protected from financial woes. She does not want to enter a situation in which she has to carry a majority of the load. More so, she merely is looking for someone who can compliment her own successes and vice versa.

            Every man needs to know that what he does for a living and his financial status will always be a determining factor in whether or not a woman wants to date him. After all, one of the roles a man holds in a relationship is as provider. Being a provider does not mean he will spend his life paying for everything. It simply means that he is able to take care of his needs and responsibilities. He is able to contribute to the growth of the relationship. Not only does he provide financially, but also provides emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. To protect himself from being a victim of a gold digger, a mans needs to figure out whether or not his finances is a contributing factor to his relationship or the only factor to his relationship.

            Is it all over if a man is not quite at the financial status that most may find desirable? To a gold digger? Yes. She has short-term goals. She wants to eat that lobster and steak dinner today, ride in the Benz tomorrow, and vacation in Bali this weekend. On the other hand, a woman who is looking for security has long-term goals. She wants to feel safe 5, 10, 25, and 50 years from now. Though it is important to know where he is now in his life, it is just as important to know where he will be in the future. A smart woman who cares about a man is very aware of his potential. Is he in school? What are his skills and talents? Is he ambitious? Does he have realistic goals? Does he work towards his goals? The answer to those questions can determine whether or not she decides to pursue a relationship with a man.

            Money matters. Money is protection. However, money is not everything. If a woman only focuses on a man’s money, she is more than likely a gold digger. All the same, sometimes her concern with what he can provide has to do with her looking for a bit of security.

Join the conversation and follow on Twitter: @theadymethod #SecurityVsGoldDigging

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