Ballerific Relationships: The Emotional Absentees – blogged by: @Milagreee

Ahhh. The run in with the emotionally unavailable never ceases to amaze me. When explained to those who have never had the pleasure of that wonderful run in, (not) they’re baffled at the confusion and the lengths the EU will go to simply because of their ignorance and therefore lack of self awareness.

I have decided to write again about the emotionally unavailable man and woman because it was easier to explain this way than to verbalize it to a friend who just might have encountered one of these beasts dressed in Prince Charming’s FABU- gear. The issue with the EU’s is that they believe they are fully ready for a mature and committed relationship. They believe that they are the epitome of what a good boyfriend or girlfriend could be and that they have all this potential and no one to share it with. Bullsh*t, excuse my French. The EU’s are not ready, and MOST have no idea they aren’t ready for a real relationship, making them super dangerous to your emotional wellbeing.

 They start off adoring you, praising you, where the hell did they find you? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to them! The best date they’ve ever been on. They TRULY believe this. And gradually, you start to trust what they are saying, because you want to. Also, because you are in fact, ready for this relationship. You are ready to get to know this person and have them fill a part of your life. Here is where the issue comes to play.

 You started to like them back. That’s it ladies, pack up your crap and move on because that’s enough for him to run to the hills, and he doesn’t even know why he’s doing it. Subconsciously, this EU person comes up with alllll types of excuses as to why he cant see you, why you have to wait, why he cant call, etc. All the while, you’re wondering where this person that you met initially went. You stop seeing other people, let him know that you want something serious and all he can make are excuses. Either that or he pulls the disappearing act claiming the line we are ALL too familiar with, ”She is crazy.” No fool, you’re a child. Ahem. Childlike is the only way to describe someone who doesn’t know what they want whether it be consciously or subconsciously. Period.

The issue is that when confronted with the option to start a real relationship or continue pretending that he hasn’t found that “one” for him yet presents itself, it is easier for him to keep it moving and keep make excuses. Now, im not talking about going on the third date and expecting a proposal but with beginning a relationship there needs to be some type of consistency. Those that want to see you or make time for you will. That is just the bottom line.

There is NOTHING wrong with you, he just has issues that he avoids to see, issues that he avoids to deal with.  He shouldn’t be dating you once or twice a week, he should be seeing a therapist instead. There is something wrong with him upstairs. His heart might have been broken and that might have left him totally torn or perhaps he doesn’t think he’s man enough yet to be in a relationship. He could be insecure with himself.  Who knows? All I know is that when a man starts to pull from you and is sending you mixed signals like that, you should run. Often enough, he’s not worth your time or your confusion. Move on to someone who is actually ready to handle someone else’s emotions. Like the famous lyrics one from Toni Braxton songs said, “You weren’t man enough for me.” 

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