Ballerific Relationships: The P.O.R.N. Method for the Men Who Want to Keep Their Woman – blogged by @proudlylauren

For the P.O.R.N. Method I posted last week, I got a lot of side-eye action from women who felt like it was all about how to please the Man, and ladies, I heard you! Fellas, listen up: 42% of women in long term relationships, are unhappy with the sex according to the NY Times. That means, in your group of friends, almost half of yal aren’t laying the pipe like you think. So how do we fix this? With the P.O.R.N. method for men; gentlemen, take notes; by now you should know us women have high expectations, and our sexual needs are no different.

Prepare: Imagine an Olympic hurdler, speeding towards the finish, but instead of jumping the hurdles, he’s running around them, as if he doesn’t see them. Bizarre right? But that’s how women are perceiving men’s “before sex tactics”. Women’s biggest complaint about sex, is that their men typically rush into sex, ignoring the many intervening hurdles on a woman’s body necessary for her to enjoy the full experience. Prepare a nice foreplay routine for your woman, kiss all of her spots (*), massage her tense areas, come up with a role play scene, eventually she’ll be speeding, and possible beating you, to the finish line too.

Observe: Contrary to the popular belief that you are omnipotent when it comes to the woman body, what turns us on, can be sporadic so you must pay close attention. This is the easiest during foreplay. Maybe you notice that she’s very gentle with her kisses, meaning she may want you to be delicate and take your time making love to her; or maybe she may kiss you while biting your lip, letting you know she’s feeling a little feisty and wants you to tie her up and remind her whose boss.   If it’s too hard for you observe what she wants from her actions, straight up ask her: “tell me how you want me to please you”, observe what she says and confirm that you know exactly what it takes to deliver.

Research: Women’s bodies are covered in erogenous zones, waiting for you to discover them. I know men aren’t the best with research, so I’ll help you out: Five of the most over looked hot spots (*): lower back, inner thigh, ear lobe, and feet.  That’s a good list to start, the rest you’ll have to find on your own. Basically, research what spots are magical for a woman, and trust your hands and tongue to do the work. Trust me, women respond well to initiative, and with the right research, you’ll literally be drowning…in her good graces.

Negotiate: Fellas, I know you have your boundaries of what you will and will not do. And I know you are hell bent on that. But what if your woman wanted something that you didn’t do, such as eat the booty like groceries. Instead of ruling it completely out, talk it out and find common ground where both of you are satisfied.

Bottom Line: Yes, we think it’s cute when your hair gets a little scruffy, and we can even smell through the funky gym shorts enough to still show you some love. However the caveman look and frequent reminder of your body odor, does nothing for our libido, and it doesn’t exactly inspire us to pounce when you walk in the door. Spice things up for your lady, and she’ll be willing to do the same for you.