What drives you towards someone with a passion so intense that it’s blinding? What can be so passionate that it can control your every move, your every thought, even your every step? What kind of connection is so controlling that the only word to describe the sensation is bittersweet? Is someone having that much undeniable control over your every whim even practical? Is it harming for your own well being? Can you live a lifestyle in which you can be encompassed by someone’s every inhale and still live for yourself? Have you ever felt such a strong magnetic connection to anyone?
It’s rare to find such heat, passion and lust. This person can be anyone, just an ordinary man. But for some odd reason, maybe some biological reasons, you’re both attracted to each other with a fire that burns like no other. I don’t want to use the words “soul mate,” because I really don’t know what that really means. People have a bunch of different definitions for what that is. When you find this person, you’ll know it and it’ll be the hardest, most amazing trip of your life.
I’m not sure if you’re meant to be with this person long term, I’m not sure if this someone you SHOULD be with long term because of the turmoil that the two of you cause together. The attraction is so deep within you that self control can go out the window. I’m not talking about butterflies, as we’ve all felt those but they don’t consume your every ounce of life. I am talking about the kind of attraction and passion that leaves you breathless. I am talking about sitting next to this man and physically having to restrain yourself from touching him. His touch activates something deep in your soul that only he has touched, that only he has seen. Is this love? Is this lust? Is it a combination of both?
The worst part about this fire is how you feel after it’s put out. It feels as though you’re mourning a death. Especially because the fire never actually goes out, the passion never actually dissipates. Whatever “it” is, is there and it’s overwhelming and constant. But at some point, for whatever reason, if you can’t be with this person, you’re stuck. You’re mourning. You’re in physical, emotional and mental agony. I’m not sure if you can ever find this same passion for someone else. It’s been a while, and I haven’t found it. So if it’s possible to find it again, ill let you know.