Ballerific Relationships: The Test Drive

When you’re in the market for a new car, what are some things you do before making purchase? Why don’t we do the same things when choosing a mate for ourselves? Do we not see a potential husband/wife as enough of a big ticket item that we require the same amount of work that we put into buying something material? It is my belief that it is just as important to test drive a relationship — or you’ll end up with a lemon.

In the beginning, you should have an idea of what you’re looking for and all of the bells and whistles you require. It’s not enough for your new car to just look good, what can it do to improve your day to day life? What’s inside? Is it worth what you’re investing into it? How much does it’s value depreciate once you drive off the lot. Now, substitute the car metaphors with looking for a mate. Once you reach a certain age and space in life, having the shiniest, fastest car is only a small part of your buying process. Same when looking for a man. Having the most good looking man will only go so far. Like a car, he’ll eventually get dirty. Then you’re stuck with a fast piece of trash. So when in the market for a new boo, think about what value he brings to your life, can he make do on the bells and whistles he promised, does it all change once you drive him off the lot?  

In relationships, it’s important to negotiate the sticker and know what you will and will not live with. You may buy a new car and have to sacrifice not getting the color you want because the dealer didn’t have it, can you deal with that? Maybe your credit is bad and you couldn’t get the 2015 so you had to settle for the 2005, can you deal with that? In life, there are certain things you can budge on and some things you can’t. The same goes for relationships. Before jumping into something serious, iron out all of the “wants” and “needs” right away. So, he doesn’t communicate as well as you’d like. Know that it’s likely to only get worse as you two pursue a relationship. Can you live with that or is that something you need to address before you sign at the contract?

Do you ever have someone come in and look at the car before you purchase it? Do you ever ask for some advice before jumping into a relationship? Sometimes our minds can be so clouded and full of what we want things to be that our judgment is impaired. It’s okay to ask for a non-biased person’s opinion on if you’re handling a situation correctly. It has to be someone you truly trust and believe has your interests at heart. There’s nothing wrong with asking for advice from someone who truly means well by you. It’s a simple way to make sure you’re not unknowingly driving off the lot with a clunker.

Lastly, always take the test drive. Dating should be a process of elimination. Take time to find out what you like, what you will tolerate and what you won’t. Every car won’t be the car for you and in the process of elimination you may find that even your dream car wasn’t all it cracked up to be. You may find comfort in a Chevy and realize it brings you more joy than the BMW you’ve been eying since you were a teenager. Don’t be afraid to take potential mates on a test spin. Actually DATE. You’d be surprised what you discover.