Ballerific Relationships: Too Much, Too Soon by: @milagreee

When a guy comes on way too strong, you have to take a second and start to wonder what his intentions might be. What good can come from a relationship that went 0-60mph in the first few dates? You have to stop and wonder whether or not it’s you that he has fallen so hard for, or did said man have an idea of the woman that he wanted and was just using you to “fit the mold”?

Let’s say you’ve been on a few dates with this tall, dark and handsome man that you’ve actually had a good time with. He treats you right, charmed the crap out of you and you find yourself thinking of him when he isn’t around. You two are spending a lot of time together, and you’re really starting to like him. But you notice that he can finish a conversation all by himself. He isn’t all that interested in your day, and he tends to cut you off before you finish speaking.

Then all of a sudden, your new beau has decided he would like for you to meet his friends…. Then his mom… Then the rest of the family…. Then his grandma…. The neighbor across the street … the neighbors cat…. His fifth grade teacher… You get the point. He wants you to meet everyone he knows. You find this a bit puzzling, feeling as though it’s too soon to meet the family, but you roll with it because you really are feeling this guy.

After a while though, this guy starts to fade off. First he isn’t answering your phone calls, his text messages are shorter and he has practically no time left for you.

The problem with the fast paced “almost” relationship is that it tends to fizz as quickly as it started. This man usually has an idea or a mold of what his “perfect woman” is. The problem is that once he actually gets to know you, you’re no longer fitting the mold; You have a personality, you’re independent, you have different opinions.

This man never sought out to know who you were. He wanted you to be the person he had concocted in his head. This man is selfish. A relationship consists of two WHOLE people coming together to learn about each other and help each other grow, not one selfish guy and a pretend perfect woman he’s made up in his head.

Same goes for women. When we go out on first dates, we find ourselves sometimes building up expectations of what this perfect gallant man might be like. Of his well balanced intelligence and charm. Of his same moral values being similar if not the same to our own. We then meet this date and we are disappointed before the first course.
All of these expectations ruin our chances of actually getting to know someone profoundly because no one will ever match up to the all of the qualities our “perfect man” has.

We need to walk into a date with an open mind and an open heart to allow both parties to truly get a feel for one another. You aren’t always going to end up with every man you go to dinner with, but that’s a good thing.