Ballerific Relationships: When Jealousy Turns it’s Ugly Head By: @milagreee

“He that is jealous, is not in love.” Saint Augustine

You start dating what seems to be an amazing man. He’s super sweet and starts to show interest in your daily life. You feel a twinge of jealousy here and there but instead of tipping you off, you feel desired by him and it gives you a rush, something similar to butterflies. At first. All of a sudden, the mere mention of a male friend turns into a fight. He starts to stalk your social media and he is aware of every new person that starts to follow you, especially men. He wants to know how you met this man, where you met this man and why he is following you. Umm, relax.

Most men would be proud to have you on their arm because you are so attractive. Look at Kanye and Kim, that man holds her up for the world to see, and he praises her. There are so many men that would kill to be in his position. Why is it that some men can’t handle having an attractive woman? They want to dress you down, tell you that you can’t wear all that make up and tell you that leggings and a v- neck isn’t proper attire to go food shopping in. Some men go as far as to refuse to leave the house with you when what you’re wearing isn’t up to their standards. They don’t want other men looking at you even though you are their woman. They should be proud that you ARE that fly and other men would love to have a woman as attractive as you on their arm. Not only do they find it annoying when other men are looking at you, but if you’re out together, his eyes are on you at all times. You better not look any other guy in the eyes or you know that’ll start a fight between you.

Sometimes he just gets angry with you. You have no idea what sparks it but it could be something as simple as you going out with your girls and not inviting him. That might set him off on a rampage and he turns into a different person, an angry person. Although you try to explain to him exactly what you and your girls did, he’s not trying to hear it. He probably imagines you having some type of orgy with 10 men and won’t let you get a word in edgewise.

Mr. Jealousy is not here for any type of talk about any other male. You can mention a coworker and you’ll start to feel him tense up and start getting angry, so much that all of a sudden, you find yourself refraining from telling him certain things in order to keep his jealous rage under control. I’m not talking about you constantly talking about someone, because that could set anyone off, I am talking about a funny story that happened at work with a male coworker. Instead of laughing with you, he starts to imagine the affair that you might be having with this coworker.

Mr. Jealousy also has a tendency to believe that you are his property. He acts as though you are an asset that he can file on his tax returns as opposed to his significant other. He calls you when you’re out and girl, you better pick up that phone when he calls. If you don’t, the minute you do speak to him, this out of proportion fight starts. In a relationship, you are allowed to ask questions but it is your right to set boundaries as to just how many questions and how invasive these questions are.

Let’s also talk about the stalking. Oh yea, you think women are the only ones that stalk their man? Incorrect. Men can be stalkers too. The only difference is that when women stalk, we are deemed as crazy; when men stalk they’re just in love. BullSh*t double standard. He wants to know your password to everything possible, he will constantly check your social media and will log into your devices.

Part of a working relationship is trust and if your man doesn’t trust you, then the relationship is bound for failure. Without trust all you have is a jealous man which will turn you into a crazy person, always feeling as though you have to prove that you aren’t doing anything wrong to him. The bottom line is no matter how hard you try to prove to this man that you aren’t doing anything wrong, in his mind you will ALWAYS be doing something wrong. You will drive yourself insane trying to fix this jealous man’s insecurities and you deserve better.