Ballerific Relationships: You Looked… So You Found – blogged by @proudlylauren

You and your #MCE are mid Netflix marathon one Friday night, when suddenly all of the grape soda, peach o’ rings, and Lays are gone. Your man, being the hero that he is, makes a quick store run to re-up on all the goodies, before realizing he’s left his phone behind on the couch. For a moment you consider leaving well enough alone; but like a true investigator, you calculate how far the store is, and realize you have more than enough time to snoop before his ETA. You start with his messages, and move folder to folder, app to app ending in his deleted photo folder (gotta’ cover all bases). Between the texts, the photos and the dm’s, you’re one slice away from becoming the newest Lorena Bobbitt. But unless you have 20 years to waste in jail for dismembering your lover, read below and things may be salvageable.

1)      When you first bring up the conversation, you must immediately admit your wrongdoing and apologize. Explain to him why you did it, maybe you’ve been feeling insecure lately, or maybe you’ve been seeing late night notifications that have peeked your curiosity; whatever the case, explain honestly what prompted you. The explanation is no excuse, and you will still need to reiterate your apology, but it will allow him to better understand your side. WARNING: Don’t be surprised if he is pissed, like Ike Turner pissed; you did just welcome yourself into his things. 

2)      You’re done apologizing, but still obviously frazzled with what you’ve uncovered. Now is time to address all you found, and begin laying it out on the table. Pick and choose your battles, don’t lose your point trying to address every single thing. Ex. avoid the small things like IG likes/comments, if you want him to address the more important issues, such as messages to his ex.

 3)      By now, your Friday is pretty much ruined, and nobody wants the grape soda he re-upped on. Now is the time to decide on where to go from here. So far: he’s mad at you because you over-stepped your boundaries, you’re homicidal, and there is a clear mutual breach in trust. First, evaluate why you felt the need to go through his phone. If you feel like something is going on to the point where you need to pry, there probably is something going on and the feeling itself is enough to confirm; unless you absolutely need to see it to believe it. If after self-evaluation you decide you still want to be with him, and he’ll still have you; both of you need to find the root of the issue and focus on rebuilding trust and communication so you all don’t find yourself here again.

Disclaimer: I’ve been in diabolical arguments because of snooping, so accept the responsibility of playing FBI before launching an investigation.