In a sincere and heartfelt letter addressed primarily to Charles Barkley, Stephen A. Smith, and Cris Carter, troubled Browns receiver Josh Gordon openly expresses his thoughts regarding the latest predicament that he finds himself in. As we reported earlier this week, Josh Gordon is facing suspension for the umpteenth time after testing positive for alcohol. This was a breach of his agreement with the NFL to abstain from alcohol for the entire 2014 season, following a DWI arrest last July. As a result of failing the alcohol test, he will be banned from the NFL for an entire year. Once the news broke that he was going to be suspended once again, Josh faced criticism from the media and fans alike. Charles Barkley, Stephen A. Smith, and Cris Carter were three high-profile individuals that publicly called out Josh on his behavior. Charles Barkley said that he was worried Josh was headed in a downward spiral towards death. Stephen A. Smith proclaimed he was done with the wide receiver. Cris Carter also expressed his concern for the young man’s health and welfare.
Having heard enough from the public, Josh now wants a chance to tell his side of the story. In his open letter, he criticizes the three men, as well as everyone else, for judging him despite not even knowing him personally. He then goes on to apologize to his teammates, coaches, family, friends, and the fans and talks about how he let himself down.
“Most importantly, I have failed myself. Again.
I failed myself when started using marijuana regularly as a young teenager. I failed myself when I ruined a once-in-a-lifetime chance to be Robert Griffin III’s running mate during his Heisman Trophy-winning season at Baylor. I failed myself when I didn’t check with the league office to ensure that my doctor-prescribed, codeine-based medicine was allowed under NFL guidelines. I failed myself when I was arrested for driving a motor vehicle with a blood-alcohol level over the legal limit. I failed myself when I missed a team walkthrough late in the season and was suspended for the final game of the year.”
But despite his failures, he wants to make it known how far he’s come since his days of smoking weed and hanging with gangbangers in an impoverished part of Houston.
“We lived in a poor section of Houston called Fondren, and to say it was a rough place would be putting it lightly. The other kids in the neighborhood weren’t well off, either, but it always felt like we had even less to our name. We moved at least seven times, and things were so bad sometimes, there were days I would come home from school and there would be no electricity, heat or hot water.
Over time, particularly after my older brothers moved out, I started hanging out with the wrong kind of people. The kind who would think nothing not only of carrying guns, but using them. Back then, smoking marijuana wasn’t an addiction for any of us — we were still boys, basically. It was just whateveryone did. It was everywhere, just like alcohol was.”
“I succeeded by escaping a youth riddled with poverty, gang violence and very little in the way of guidance or support. I succeeded by narrowly avoiding a life of crime that managed to sink its clutches into almost all of my childhood friends. I succeeded by working tremendously hard on my craft and my body to even have a chance to play professional football for a living. And, contrary to popular belief, I succeeded by overcoming my longstanding relationship with weed — because I knew I was risking my future over it.”
He then goes into detail about his latest failed drug test.
“On Jan. 2 of this year, just days after our season ended earlier than we all had hoped — and yes, my actions during the prior offseason definitely contributed to our failure to make the playoffs; it killed me seeing our guys fight so hard when I wasn’t out there with them — I boarded a private flight to Las Vegas with several teammates. During the flight, I had two beers and two drinks. It was the first time I had consumed so much as a drop of alcohol since July 4, 2014, the day of the DWI.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not much of a drinker. Even calling me a social drinker would be an exaggeration, but at that moment, on that flight, I made a choice. The wrong choice, as it turned out.
Upon landing, I received the all-too-familiar notice by phone that I was to report to a testing location within four hours. I failed the test, obviously, and the rest is history … colored by media speculation and faux outrage.
In the end, of course, I failed myself.
It doesn’t matter if I thought that the league-imposed restriction on drinking had expired at the end of the regular season; what matters is that I didn’t confirm whether or not that was the case. Now, that oversight has further jeopardized my relationship with my team and our fans, my reputation, and maybe even my career.”
He concludes the letter by affirming that he is not the addict the media portrays him to be and vowing to be a better person.
“What I do know is the following: I am not a drug addict; I am not an alcoholic; I am not someone who deserves to be dissected and analyzed like some tragic example of everything that can possibly go wrong for a professional athlete. And … I am not going to die on account of the troubled state you wrongly believe my life to be in. I am a human being, with feelings and emotions and scars and flaws, just like anyone else. I make mistakes — I have made a lot of mistakes — but I am a good person, and I will persevere.
If I have a “problem,” it is that I am only 23 years old — with a lot left to learn. I’ve come a long way from those mean Fondren streets, but it’s clear that I can be a better me — one who kids coming up to me for selfies and autographs can be proud of. I want that future for myself. And I truly believe that what I am going through right now will only make me stronger. I believe that my future is bright.”
To say that I feel sorry for him is a strong statement. But, he IS only 23 years old with a lot of life to live and a lot of room to learn. If he really means the things that he writes in this letter, then I hope he uses his year off to really get his act together and come back better than ever.
Source: Medium
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