Beside Every Ballerific Woman Should Be a Ballerific Man

So, yesterday I wrote about Ballerific Women and provided some tips for the work place. I received a suggestion that I felt was worthy of expanding on. In a nutshell, the commenter (male) mentioned that to be a Ballerific Woman it is imperative that she chooses the right man. I couldn’t agree more. 

Here’s the exact comment: “I know a lot of successful women who date down and have men who don’t have money or aren’t that smart but they know how to play their position. All that success means nothing if you have nobody to share it with like  kids and a man at home waiting to show you love. You can say you don’t need that but human biology says different, it’s just the human condition. Why gain all this money and prestige if you can’t pass it down or share it with some one?”

Here’s my take on the situation. Many times Ballerific Women date down simply because that’s who they are accustomed to. While she was working long hours, slaving, this is the man who’s been down from day 1. In fact, he’s probably the around the way guy from the neighborhood that she grew up with, that never finished high school, but he’s sweet to her (as far as she knows). The difference in women dating down and men dating down is that for us women, it’s so much harder for us to elevate men to our standards. We can give him money, but what man really wants to be “kept.” I mean, they say they do, but those are definitely not the type of men that I want. We can try to help him start a business but even when you’re the priority stake holder, the man’s ego will make him want to be the boss. “Baller-wise” you’re just not as equally yoked as you used to be. 

I’ve seen so many women in this day and age taking care of men, letting grown, able-bodied men drive their car while she works, pay his bills, pretty much be his mother — all so she can say she has someone. The problem with this is that it adds additional stress to your plate and when trying to meet your Ballerific potential, additional stress isn’t a good look. A relationship tends to go a lot smoother with the support of a Ballerific Woman and Ballerific Man being each other’s “right hand.” When one has to support the other it becomes strenuous. More strenuous when you’re a woman because you already have to work 10x as hard just to get to the level you’re on.

When I say a Ballerific Woman needs a Baller, I’m not saying that she needs a rich man, or a man that will spend his money on her while she continues to stash hers. In fact, what I’m saying is that she needs a man who’s mindset, priorities and goals are aligned with her own. Despite who financially is the breadwinner, someone should be able to bring something to the table to relieve some stress off both parties. Two incomes are better than one and two hustles are too. 

Don’t take this as meaning that you can’t find a man and build him up. I merely suggest that building happen while you are BOTH in the building stages, not while you are at your peak. Like all circumstances, there are exceptions and there are times when a woman who’s on her A-Game can remain successful and continue to build with a man that’s on his D-Game.