Ballerific Relationships – Black Women Dating Downward versus Dating Outward

The phrase dating downward versus dating outward simply means, as black women, we would rather date black men who may not necessarily be on our level professionally, financially, or even mentally in lieu of dating someone outside our race who would be ideally compatible.

This doesn’t apply to all black women, but a vast majority. Even though we are in 2014, there is still an unspoken stigma about interracial dating.

There is a fear of not being fully accepted by our black community, if we married or bore children from a man who is not our same skin shade.

Black women has a strong loyalty to black men, even when they have proven they are not as loyal to us.

So instead of exploring our options outside our race, black women will date a black man who isn’t her equal and ultimately wind up unhappy, and adding to the statistics of divorce rates and single parent homes.

This has me wondering, are we settling? What happened to dating and marrying who makes you happy regardless of their skin tone?

I find myself only physically attracted to African American men, but could that be because of what I have been conditioned to? Growing up in a predominately black neighborhood as well as attending an HBCU.

As a black woman, I love the black man as well as what and who he represents even if society doesn’t view him the same. Black men have had it hard for generations long before we can even remember and somewhere in my mind, I feel the black woman shouldn’t turn her back on him. Black women understand black men, even if they don’t understand us.

Then I ask myself, who has hurt black women the most? With the ever growing rate of fatherless children, prison capacity, and etc. Black men have taken advantage of the black woman’s love and understanding. During the struggle, a black woman has always held her black man down. However, when success is reached the black man disregards his black queen and moves on to whiter pastures….

So, what about you? Are you dating downward or are you just loyal our brothers?

Would you date outside your race?