Blog – Let’s Say No to Single Motherhood in Black America in 2014 by Rico Rivers

Rico Rivers has submitted another blog into Baller Alert, this time shifting away from young black men and boys and focusing his sights on future single mothers. Read the entire blog below and let us know if you agree with his points.

I think a battery of psychological exams should be given to EVERY female who DECIDES to become a single mother knowing that she can’t afford a baby. I think these tests should be mandatory for any single/never married woman who decides to get pregnant without a good paying job, an education, transportation, health insurance, stable housing, and a plan in place for child care that she can afford with her own money. I think that she should be given a battery of psychological tests to see if she is even sane and emotionally stable enough to be a decent mother to an innocent child who did not ask to be brought here. I think that since she decided against getting married first to a good man, a good provider, and most importantly to a man who loves and adores her, she should foot the bills herself. These tests should be made mandatory only if this single/never married female decides to apply for public assistance programs such as welfare, food stamps, WIC and any other public assistance program that are funded by tax payer dollars because now she realizes that she needs money and lots of it to properly provide for and rear a child. This voluntary single motherhood stuff has to stop. It has caused so much emotional and psychological damage in the Black community. Our children are suffering emotionally and mentally because of these irresponsible decisions to have children out of wedlock. Look. If you are a single woman who has never been married, DO NOT HAVE ANY children that you can’t afford should the single man YOU CHOSE to get you pregnant over a getting a husband runs off.

Sadly, this current court system with the whole child support nonsense, has done nothing but enable this irresponsible decision making in too many women today! Unfortunately, too many of these women are Black. The acceptance of bad and irresponsible behavior in any form in our community has to stop! Ladies, stop choosing baby daddies and start choosing husbands! No matter how you try to spin this, it is YOU who can stop this horrible phenomenon of unjustified child support payments being made to single women who decide to become burdens on tax payer dollars. GET A HUSBAND and do like you’re supposed to do and become a wife before you bring an innocent child into your life.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against women who were made single mothers because of a divorce or the death of her husband. Even then, in the case of a divorce, she is really not a single mother, per say. However, I do have a serious problem with children being born to single/never married women. It is a FACT that does not have to make herself a single mother. It’s a choice that too many Black women are making and black teen females are being allowed and it needs to stop! A child deserves better! It’s not necessary in these days and times. You see, there was a period in this country where some women (mainly Black women) were not as privileged to the knowledge of birth the few birth control options back then. Hell, even if they had the knowledge of the few birth control options, they simply did not have the money (like so many do today) to take advantage of unwanted and unplanned pregnancies during those days.  However, nowadays, there are just too many forms of FREE and very low cost birth control out here in society that are available to every woman who wants them. There is even a pill that will end a possible pregnancy for up to three days after she decided to have unprotected sex with a man that is not her husband. Boyfriends don’t count. 

Please, don’t ask me this stupid question, “Well, what about the single man? Why can’t he practice safe sex?” Look, stupid! He can practice safe or unsafe sex all he wants. He doesn’t have to practice safe sex. What’s it to you? You just need to protect yourself regardless of what he is or isn’t doing sexually when he is not your husband. Unfortunately, these days a lot of married women have to protect themselves from many of these cheating husbands. However, in the single life, getting sex has never been in the man’s control unless it is by force (rape). If a single/never married female is volunteering to be naked and laying on the bed, couch, or across the backseat of his or her car with her legs opened or bent over grabbing her ankles with him standing behind her ready for action and she never tells him to put on a condom, that’s all on her. Ladies, you are supposed to be the protector of your body, your life! You don’t ever rely on a horny man to consider the protection of your life when it comes to sex. Hell! The red flag should immediately go up when you see that he has no problem going up in you without a condom if he just met you. 

I know that what I am saying upsets people. Cool. I am bracing myself for the nasty and negative backlash. I’m use to it. However, I hope that you get so upset that you join me in this mission to change the screwed up thinking of too many men and women in the black community. White racism can take a back seat because what we are doing to ourselves and our children is making racism look non-existent. I am bracing myself for the comments that will say that I am attacking women, that I am bashing the black woman. Trust me. No one bashes Black women more than other Black women. So, to the self-proclaimed psychologists who instead of addressing what this article is really talking about and actually doing something about it (which is correcting bad behavior and poor decision making when it comes to most Black women/females today and this reckless procreation) don’t waste your words or your breath on me. Join me in correcting this behavior that has obviously gone on either unnoticed or purposefully IGNORED in the black community when it comes to the many females who behave the way that I have described.

You can help me in this mission, crusade or whatever you want to call it by spreading the word about how too many Black women’s poor decision making has contributed to the breakdown of the black community and the Black family. The shit needs to stop! We all seem not to have a problem with calling BLACK MEN on their shit. Believe me. It has become designer to name all of the stupid and irresponsible shit that Black men do, but it has never dawned on any us of that Black women have all but surpassed Black men in making dumb decisions and being irresponsible especially when it comes to their bodies and this reckless procreation that’s been going on for too long. Hey, am I the only one who sees this? Oh yeah, for those you who will accuse me of pointing out the problem, but not delivering a solution, you obviously did not read this entire article. The solution and the revolution is us!

-By Rico Rivers to Rico The Opinionist!!