This blog was inspired by Mandeecees, Yandy and the situation they have surrounding them. Mandeecees is facing 20 years in federal prison if convicted of drug charges. Yandy is the mother of one of Mandeecees’ sons and helps him take care of another. On an episode of Love & Hip Hop NY, Yandy spoke to Mona about whether she should ride or die, or let the relationship ride all together. Mona’s advice was to simply not go down with the ship.
In my own personal experience, I’ve been the ride or die and consequently I went down with the ship also. My baby daddy was always getting locked up for stupid little things like driving without a license. He’d go to jail and be out in 24 hours. It was almost a routine. He never got caught in any of the other major things he was doing. Well, one day he did. He was facing 5 years, did 2 in state jail. I stuck by him through out the entire thing. I mailed letters, I visited, I accepted his collect calls, I put money on his books and I was faithful. The whole nine. Needless to say none of this was cheap and it put a tremendous burden on me emotionally as well as financially. There was a point where I stopped writing because I just couldn’t deal anymore. I had so much on my plate and I was extremely depressed. What did he do? Turned it around like he was going to die without me. It was almost a guilt trip. Even more of an emotional burden. It was then I realized that he was almost dependent on me and not only was I responsible for the home and everything going on outside, I was responsible for him and his well being inside. Needless to say, I couldn’t do it.
When the day finally came for him to be released, the first thing I told him is that I will never do that again. My son will never visit his dad behind glass again. I will never put money on his books again. I will never go through that situation again so the best thing he can do at this point is straighten his life up. He promised he would. Unfortunately he didn’t. I however, held up my end of the deal and now he’s doing 8 years. I am not.
I asked my followers on Twitter if they would stick by their man if he was about to do time. I asked the men if they’d want their women to stay. Here is what they had to say. Pretty interesting responses although I believe that if some were in that situation, the answer would change a little.
WOMEN:
LyssaHoney Stay! I couldn’t leave him while he’s down
Mini_DeeLight Peace out…I’m too old to be about that life
BrittanyBeauty im telling him peace out im sorry but writing letters back and forth doesn’t work for me. if it were the other way around niggas definitely wouldn’t stay with us so why should we (ladies) stick around? im not going years without getting mines lol
besmartgoblonde it will be selfish of him to ask me to stay. I didn’t commit the crime with him and I have basic needs we can be pen pals
MissErika if i’ts less then a year I’d stay depending on the crime. But anything else, I couldn’t wait. I’d write tho.
MEN:
Plot_LouieSosa Under 2 years..yeah. 3-5 or more? Nah. Live your life. only weak ni**az expect their girl to NOT move on after they get sentenced. Unless she willingly chooses to? I’m not pushin it. I’ve definitely taught my woman a lot about being a woman so she’ll definitely stay in touch. Ask questions etc. We friends 1st.
FashionCitizen I’d say it depends on what I went in for, if it was on some irresponsible foolery, she should move on.
fmillionaire nah, I’d tell her to go live your life shorty. Who am I to hold you back. It would be her choice. I wouldn’t force her to stay
MrBond_WIBM of course I’d want her to stay, but it would be a f*cked up situation if I guilt tripped her into saying with me
IamMrParker if we’re married yeah but if not I would want her to hold me down emotionally (letters visits commissary ect) but I don’t expect her too physically women have needs to a vibrator can only do so much.
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