Will he despise me if I can hold us down? For most men, having a wife that’s the primary breadwinner isn’t always easy. We know that traditionally the man brings home the bacon, but what happens if he can’t? Egos can be a major problem in any relationship, but if you throw at a wage gap into the equation, tension can begin to fester. While most women are completely comfortable with their male spouses making more than them, some men tend to have an issue when the shoe is on the other foot.
“Breadwinner Wives” (women who out-earn their husbands) are on the rise and stay at home husbands are becoming more and more common than ever. One reason is that these wives have multiple streams of income which requires them to be away from their children at times, sometimes surpassing their husbands. It’s safe to say that nannies can be reliable, but that’s just another way to take additional money out of the home which isn’t always a good option. Husbands can ultimately play a significant role in the success of their breadwinner wives if they’re understanding and can focus on the ultimate goal.
Of course, to some men, it’s just money; but to others, it’s a big damn deal. Wearing the pants in the relationship can come down to who’s writing the checks, unfortunately. To some couples, it doesn’t matter whose makes more or less as long all of their priorities are taken care. That isn’t to say that a man will even sign up for that type of arrangement. You have to be okay with what you bring to the table to respect the woman that’s a BOSS! Some believe that it can emasculate men or make them feel as though their woman is wearing the pants in the relationship because she brings home the bigger check, but maybe there’s some underline insecurities there.
One can become overwhelmed with resentment, anger, and various frustrations just for not being in the same financial situation as their counterpart, but it depends on how you look at it. Some couples have joint bank accounts where most of the money is together, while others divide their responsibilities equally throughout the month with no problems. There’s no wrong or right way to share the responsibilities, as long as both parties feel that they’re respected and appreciated. If you’re both working towards a common goal and both people are comfortable, then it really should matter.
All in all, convincing your husband that he’s still the head of the household can be crucial to your relationship during this transition. Something as simple as allowing him to make final decisions, win petty arguments, and remaining the same level of respect you had for them at the beginning of the relationship can sustain your relationship while adjusting to big differences such as income will leave everyone happy. It’s a hard pill to swallow for some men, but others embrace life as it comes.
