Brother Husbands; Do They Work?

A few days ago we discussed polyamory, or “Sister Wives,” as our generation has come to refer to it as. We discussed how multiple women can knowingly and happily be in a relationship with the same man. We discussed how most men in this position possess some type of power over the women; whether it’s money, companionship, a lifestyle, he provides something to her that she feels that she can’t provide on her own. And guess what, that’s fine. Polygamy and Polyamory is so old and ancient. It’s nothing new whatsoever, and if you like it, I love it. 

But why don’t we hear much about Brother Husbands? You know, a woman with multiple men in her life. Men who choose to happily be in a relationship with a woman, despite she has a man. No, I’m not talking about a happy side-dude. I’m referring to them being one big, happy relationship. Why is that concept much more rare?

I believe there is a bit of a double standard when it comes to this situation. Of course, society deems it much more cool for a man to have multiple women. A woman on the other hand, not so much. Morally a woman is wrong for even entertaining anyone other than her mate and if the men oblige to such behavior, they are weak. In society’s eyes, what power could a woman possibly possess that would make a man feel like it was okay for him to be one of many men she’s in a relationship. 

However few and far between, brother husbands do exist. Mainly overseas, obviously with cultural differences, but there are a few cases closer to home as well.  xoJane did a piece on an ex-Mormon woman named “Polly” who lived somewhere in the Pacific Northwest with her two husbands. The writer reached out to “Polly” for an interview but she declined, citing she liked her privacy. The married xoJane writer then conducted her own experiment and decided she was going to try out polyamory. Needless to say her husband wasn’t here for it, but for the sake of journalism, he let her try. She took on 3 additional husbands. By the end of it all, she was only down one. That’s not too bad, is it?

Here’s the thing about polyamory, it’s not swinging, it’s not cheating, it’s not a threesome, it’s not just a man and two women. It’s not even just a woman and two men. A more common form of polyamory where women are in “control” would be a woman who’s in a long term relationship with a woman, then (for whatever reason) wants to introduce a man into the mix. It’s like a sister wives situation, but one’s a man. It’s also a lot more common. 

But can brother husband’s really work? Can someone really have two men that she cares for deeply, that don’t mind sharing? What are your thoughts?