Chrissy Teigen is still recovering from the “brutal” miscarriage that she suffered back in September while she was 20 weeks pregnant.
“When I’m old and grey, I will look back on the last two months as being brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, mentally painful b**ches of a couple months,” the model said in an Instagram post.
Teigen and singer husband John Legend lost their son Jack after the bestselling cookbook author dealt with bleeding due to a weak placenta during her pregnancy.
The 33-year-old went on to describe how dealing with her grief has distorted her daily views, making it hard to function at times.
“I already see the leaves as orange instead of grey, realized the sky is indeed blue and not black. And horn honks on my forced morning walks only bring me to my knees half the time.”
She went on to add, “I can make it up my stairs only stopping once or twice instead of every other, and can get out of the bathtub all by myself as long as I have the promise John will dry me off.”
Back in September, in the wake of the miscarriage, Teigen shared several images of her in the hospital, one of them showing her and Legend cradling their deceased son, with another showed her weeping on the hospital bed.
In her IG post addressing her healing, Teigen also aimed at critics of those series of photos that immediately followed her miscarriage.
“I don’t care if you were offended or disgusted. I understand it could be that way for people, [but] it’s designed for the people that were hurting,’ she said, despite noting that ‘John was very uncomfortable taking them. I was worried, I was like, I don’t want to commemorate this pain. But the crazy thing about having a miscarriage is you don’t walk away with anything, you have this emptiness, and we wanted to take the photos so we had something to remember him by.”
Teigen and Legend share two children, four-year-old Luna, and two-year-old Miles.