Yesterday on Instagram, Chrissy Teigen shared a statement in which she shared her personal struggles since being “canceled” over Twitter DMs between her and reality star Courtney Stodden when they were 16 years old.
“Iiiii don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter shit in real life,” Teigen wrote. “Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however, I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer,” she continued. “I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay.”
Stodden said in May that they received private texts from Teigen in which she advised them to “kill myself.” Chrissy released a public apology, stating she was an “insecure, attention-seeking troll” who was “mortified and sad at who I used to be.”
Teigen came back to social media with a Medium article in which she professed regret for her previous mistakes and attempted to persuade people that she wasn’t the same person she used to be.
Chrissy told TMZ last month that she’s been doing “good” since the highly public fallout, and her husband John Legend echoed that sentiment, telling a pap that she’s been “great.”
While the concept of being truly “canceled” is controversial, she admits that she is still bearing the brunt of her mistakes. “Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot,” she wrote. “Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow.”