Colorism: The War Is Internal – by @niksofly

We live in a society where the juxtaposition of political correctness and truth often mirrors the violation of an individual’s  right to prefer.  I tend to steer clear of the #TeamLightSkin v. #TeamDarkSkin battle because the entire premise is regressive in nature and does absolutely nothing for the progression of a community. In my modest opinion , submitted without the permission of others,  it is a platform used to validate insecurities . If individuals choose to focus on aesthetic qualities such as “good hair”, lemon snap skin and keen noses opposed to character traits more solid in nature then that is their prerogative.  Those individuals are not my muse for this piece.  That is a horse that has already been beaten and should finally be laid to rest like “Speedy”.

The entire premise of this complexion class war can be found in the letters of Willie Lynch , however society blames athletes, entertainers and celebrities for making the insecurities of never being told you are beautiful by your father more apparent. I remember when I transferred to McNeese State and I told this cat that he had beautiful teeth.  My goodness they were radiantly white and perfectly aligned. Instead of saying thank you, he states that he doesn’t like dark skin girls. My slick mouth self, not missing a beat,  retorted  “ And I don’t like lame ass n–gas. Take the compliment and get your weight up”.  I don’t know if it is my affinity for sneakers or my blunt persona that made him a fan of me, but seven years later he remains as one.  My  notoriety on campus grew and I often got (this will date me) Honesty Box messages that either inquired about my confidence as a brown skin girl or told me that being dark made me ugly. I never lost a day of sleep and somehow I managed to snag the attention and time of the dudes  across the state that these “chosen” females were sloring their lives away in hopes of getting.  I didn’t have a recipe or secret ritual in procuring the attention of these dudes. I honestly didn’t care. I was from HOUSTON and did not mind paying those importation taxes( Pi..lol) for those that preferred my flavor of coffee.  If they liked me…cool. If they didn’t…that was cool as well.  One monkey didn’t stop the show.

And it’s true. One monkey does not and will not stop the show. EVER.  I can tell you about the jaded “ you are so pretty for a dark skin girl “ compliments or the infamous “ if you were lighter you would be even finer” line. It has never affected my confidence or made me feel like I had to participate in the war with my lighter counter parts.  As far as I can fathom…Nik has no competition. I am in my own lane. The idea that the preference of small sector of men should somehow affect my daily life is a bit ridiculous. Society can only do what you as an individual allow. The reason you may feel lighter skin women are winning reflects upon your internal view of yourself and the equation that being of a darker skin tone translates to losing. That is an issue you must resolve within yourself. A man can prefer what and who he wants just as I do when I levy my “above six feet” in height rule. If you continue to allow the opinions of others  to validate your life then your purpose will be lost in translation.  Be above being a victim of ignorance. You will not be appealing to every man just as every man will not being appealing to you.  You must find that man you appeal to.  Seven Continents. The pickings aren’t slim.  Attractiveness is never factual, only opinion based.