Curse of the Open Relationship

Being single just leaves more time for me and my friends to look back and laugh at old flings, while fantasizing & discussing the the foolery that we will not deal with from the men in our lives who do not exist at the moment. Our most recent debate was triggered by a tweet I saw from a lady who said she believed in giving her man a “sex whoever you want” pass once a year in order to keep him faithful and the relationship fun. What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander, but it definitely raised the question about the difference between understanding that a person may cheat on you, and just flat out lining up the thots and allowing it to happen.

Why would one feel that because they gave permission for one day of cheating, that their spouse is not banging “I Woke Up Like This” from Instagram the other 364 days? Looking at it from different angles, I know some people would think that not every dude would take advantage of such a situation or that maybe the female has it controlled. But honestly, how do you control someone banging the headboard with SOMEONE ELSE once they know YOU are “ok” with it? Let’s face it, most of these females don’t even have one bit of control in their own bedrooms and “relationships,” but you expect me to believe they are about to control what they “think” goes on in another?

I definitely understand that sometimes being with the same person can get boring, but its up to both parties to work towards keeping their sex life more exciting. The most popular cop out for most cheaters is the “I was bored/uninterested with my girlfriend/wife” excuse, so what man (or woman) wouldn’t take advantage, knowing that when they get tired of having sex with the same person, instead of putting in effort to spice it up & bring them closer together as a couple, they can just text the person they were with last week (and probably the week before, unbeknownst to you) that has been pleasing them in a more applauding manner than you?

I hate having to reference celebrities all the time, but its better than using my nobody self as an example, and their business is already out in these streets. I was totally through with Gabrielle Union taking blame for Dwayne Wade’s “break baby,” but part of me also had to agree with her, but not for the reasons she gave. For years it has been reported that she has “allegedly” been in the know of his sexual trysts and has even joined in on a few of them as well. Lets not forget that when she met him she was the mistress, and she was probably also one among several others who may not have gotten the ring she has now, but were definitely getting their rent, bills, car notes, and other things taken care of. Not saying she gave him a cheat pass, and also not ruling out the fact that he probably still would have cheated regardless, but Relationship & Friendship Dynamics 101 shows us over and over again that when you support a certain behavior, you are letting an individual know what you will allow. So as a result, they continue to act accordingly. Of course no woman should ever blame herself for their mans inability to keep his male parts to himself, but you cant be upset now (at least openly upset) when this is the same man and the same foolery you knew all along.

At the end of the day, you can’t control what you don’t see, and “hall pass” or no “hall pass,” the reality of it is that you just might be cheated on in your lifetime knowingly or unknowingly, so why even open the floodgates for that to happen? Permission is permission whichever way you slice it and dice it, so whether it’s just 1 pass for the year or 1 pass for every season, don’t ever think you are helping to build up a trustworthy individual who will be open with you about the other times he WILL be sexing someone other than you.