Dating a Man with Kids? Here’s What You Need to Know

Dating a man with kids is not the same as dating a man without them. His responsibilities, priorities, and availability will be different. Some women love the idea of dating a father, while others avoid it completely. Whether you are open to it or unsure, it is important to understand what kind of father he is and what that means for your relationship.

There are three types of fathers. The full-time father, the supportive and involved father, and the father who is absent in his child’s life. Each comes with its own set of challenges, and how you navigate the relationship will depend on the type of father he is.

The Full-Time Father

A full-time father has custody of his children and takes on the primary responsibility of raising them. These men deserve more credit because single fathers are often overshadowed by the idea that only single mothers struggle.

Dating a full-time dad requires patience and understanding. His kids will always come first, and his time will be limited. Many women approach this situation by not meeting the children until the relationship is serious. While this can protect the child from unnecessary attachments, waiting too long can also backfire. Many fathers use their children as a way to gauge the potential of a relationship. If the kids do not like you, that could be a dealbreaker.

If you decide to date a full-time father, be prepared for a slower pace and moments when plans get canceled because parenting comes first. This relationship can be fulfilling, but it takes maturity to handle the responsibilities that come with it.

The Support & Visit Dad

This is the man who does not have full custody but actively supports and visits his child. On paper, he sounds ideal. He has children, but they do not live with him full-time, meaning he has more time and flexibility for a relationship.

However, this situation can get complicated depending on his relationship with his child’s mother. Some men handle co-parenting well, while others have a bitter ex who still wants control. If his child’s mother is not over him, you may find yourself dealing with drama.

The biggest red flag is a man who only sees his child because the court forces him to. If he is not showing genuine effort, that could be a sign of deeper issues. If you date a man in this category, be aware of potential baby mama drama and be sure he is in control of his co-parenting situation before getting too involved.

The Deadbeat Dad

This is the man who does not take care of his child, either financially or emotionally. At first, it may not be obvious that he is a deadbeat. Many of these men blame their child’s mother, saying she keeps him away or causes too much drama. While this may be true in some cases, a father who truly wants to be in his child’s life will find a way.

The way he treats his child is not always a reflection of how he will treat you, but it does speak to his character. If he can neglect his own child, what makes you think he will step up if you were to have children with him? A man who does not take responsibility for his past should be a red flag, not a project.

Is Dating a Father Right for You?

Dating a man with children is a unique experience. It requires patience, maturity, and a clear understanding of what you are willing to accept. Before getting involved, ask yourself:

• Am I okay with not always being his top priority?
• Can I handle potential drama from his child’s mother?
• Do I want to be involved in a child’s life, or would I rather date someone without kids?
• Is he a responsible father, or does he make excuses?

There is nothing wrong with dating a man with kids, but there is also nothing wrong with choosing not to. It all depends on what works for you. Just make sure that whatever choice you make, it is one that aligns with your needs, values, and future plans.