Do I Really Want To Date A Baller?

The “New Year, New Me” and “2015 Resolutions/Goals” have already begun to invade social media .  Typically, most people voice their desires to become more fit and healthy, financially stable, independent, educated, and so on; however, today, as I was scrolling through my timeline, I noticed several people posted a very specific relationship ambition for the new year: to move on.  When a person truly desires to move on, they have successfully acknowledged the negative constituents that are present as a result of dealing with a specific person, a person that at one point in their life was deemed desirable in more aspects than one.   In general, moving on is definitely a difficult and challenging task for anyone, especially when a significant amount of time has been put into a relationship , but it is unmistakably more formidable when your relationship is public and with a “baller.”

When dealing with a “baller,” you’re definitely going to endure “normal” relationship issues, but at a higher degree and frequency which, unfortunately, takes an obvious toll on one’s confidence and self-esteem.  Females, in particular, start out feeling very privileged as a result of who they’re dating, partially because they were the one “chosen” out of all of his other options and please understand, regardless of what he actually looks like and character traits he possesses, he definitely has plenty to choose from.  Unluckily, behind the scenes, this new-found confidence quickly deteriorates as the “rookies” are exposed to what it TRULY  means to deal with a “baller”:

1. Infidelity:   Let me first start off by saying that ALL “BALLERS” ARE NOT UNFAITHFUL!   I’m sure there is a “baller” or two that doesn’t fall victim to temptation and kudos to them, but let’s be realistic, faithfulness is rare in this league.  It doesn’t matter how knowledgeable or beautiful you are or how much effort you put in to keep your “baller” happy, most women involved with “ballers” are going to learn (whether sooner or later) that their man has been laying (or laid) his head elsewhere.  Juanita Jordan, Eva Longoria, Ciara, Halle Berry, Vanessa Bryant, Khloe Kardashian, and Hilary Clinton are all gorgeous, accomplished, and intelligent women who nonetheless have been cheated on by their infamous “baller” spouses.  Dealing with infidelity, specifically sexual infidelity,  is undeniably, and a lot of times, unconsciously, detrimental to a woman’s self-confidence, significantly affecting them psychologically.  She will begin to question her physical appearance, comparing themselves to other women constantly, wondering if she is still attractive or if her body is still ideal.  She will reconsider every stance she has taken that clashed with her man’s, contemplating if these differences somehow, someway led to his infidelity.  If she chooses to stay then trust issues are naturally going to appear, due to feelings of betrayal, hurt, and mistrust.  The stylist whose always around or the publicist who keeps calling will now be monitored with raised eyebrows.  His locked phone now serves as “proof” that he’s hiding something.  Everything and everyone is now questionable.   To the cheater, it may appear as if his girl is suddenly insecure (despite his apologies and pledges of honesty and faithfulness) and can’t handle his lifestyle, but that’s far from the truth.   She just hasn’t recuperated from the initial damage quite yet.  Let’s not forget that the media makes sure that she is reminded daily of his deception until something else of more importance occurs and diverts their attention.  The real dilemma for these women is determining whether or not status and luxuries take precedent over morals, emotional stability, and faithfulness.
2. Social Media: The role of social media, specifically in regards to relationships, has definitely changed over the course of the past few years.  Several years ago, people wouldn’t dare broadcast their relationship business online (whether positive or negative), but nowadays, with memes, subliminal tweets/posts, and screenshots/images in full circulation, it’s typical to come across “relationship drama” on your newsfeed.  Again, for women who are romantically involved with a “baller,” the arena is immense.  When trouble strikes paradise, the world learns of it instantaneously and quickly shares their reaction via social media as if they are the third party in the relationship.  All of a sudden Instagram and Twitter houses millions of relationship counselors and psychologists who choose to share their advice and opinions by commenting on every picture, tagging you in posts, and sending irrelevant direct messages.  To add fuel to the flame, social media has also became an outlet for venting and “stirring up trouble” when things are rocky.  Let’s not forget what happened several weeks ago between Chris Brown and his on again, off again beau, Karrueche Tran,   Rather than privately discussing their problems, they went to Instagram and ranted, all awhile sharing TOO much personal information ranging from secretive meetings with Drake to threesomes that have occurred in the past, which definitely opened up a can of criticism from supporters of both parties and a bowl of animosity for the exposed.  Imagine looking through your newsfeed and witnessing your man publicly humiliate you all because he’s upset. Has social media taken the place of verbal communication?   Just two days ago you posted a picture of us appearing to be madly in love?  What happened to the love and compassion that you had the other day?  You’re THAT mad that you have to lay everything out on the table for the world to know?  So I have to deal with you publicizing our issues and break up, only to make up and still be bashed by outsiders? To be with a “baller,” you have  to have tough skin, plain and simple.  Social media is going to eat you alive either way it goes.  There’s ALWAYS someone who has something to say.  A lot of women can’t handle the derogatory comments or screenshots/images posted of conversations between their man and some random girl looking for a come up.  Then again, should they have to?  At the end of the day, a woman can only take but so much and unfortunately, social media doesn’t make it any better.

Learning the cons associated with “ballers” is an essential for women who have found their heart stolen by one.  Infidelity and social media are by no means the only issues to expect, but they’re definitely more prevalent than most.  Be wise ladies.  Don’t let these things weigh you down to the point that you’re an emotional wreck.