Doctors Say Potatoes Up Your Butt Will Not Cure Hemorrhoids

Somewhere on the Internet, people are being advised that putting a potato into your rectum can help with hemorrhoids. And people are actually doing it! Which leaves doctors with great concern for those seeking hemorrhoid treatment options from the World Wide Web.

“There is no medical evidence that putting frozen potatoes inside the anus can help cure piles, so I would urge caution to anyone thinking of doing it,” Dr. Diana Gall tells Wales Online, noting that those suffering from the condition have numerous options — but this ain’t one of them.

“Piles often go away on their own after a few days, but there are some tried and trusted ways to keep them at bay,” she said. “You should drink plenty of fluids and maintain a fiber-rich diet and try having regular warm baths to ease itching and pain.”

The potato-plug idea is reportedly due to potatoes having an astringent property, which can constrict bodily tissue. But it doesn’t work that way in this case.

One website providing the misleading advice is quoted saying, “Insert the frozen potato slice in your anus and leave it inside for 30 seconds. Repeat the process for three to five days. The next three to five days leave the slice inside for 30 seconds more each time. The potatoes have astringent properties and help relieve the pain and itchy sensation, which usually happens with this condition, while the ice-cold potato constricts the blood vessels, reduces the swelling and relieves your pain instantly.”

Y’all better not be out there sticking potatoes up your ass from hemorrhoids! Go to the doctor!